THE LIFE OF RILEY

The Life of Riley

Written by Kendall Oliphant

Copyright 2006

The movie starts with a cartoon strip. It's not a Charles Schultz, it's not Garfield, Marmaduke or a Mad Magazine. This is a lesser known.

FADE IN:

On a "Darwin's Ape's" black and white panel, lying on a drafting table.

The title reads:

Darwin's Apes

Spanky and Harry Monkey

In

"Monkey Business"

PAN LEFT to the next panel which shows the stars of the strip. The first is Steve "Spanky" Monkey, a three foot monkey in a pair of school boy shorts and a tee-shirt posed with a mischievous smirk on his face. The other is his brother Harry Monkey. He is a large six foot ape, older than the other. Awkward in appearance, with his extremely long arms. When he smiles he shows his two large incisors. The panels begin to animate themselves.

Spanky and Harry Monkey

Are in the midst of an argument. The much smaller Spanky waves his fist at his brother in anger. Harry has an amused look on his face. Two large human female legs walk into frame. The VOICE belonging to the legs breaks up the argument.

VOICE
Steven Monkey, quit bugging your brother.

HARRY
(teasing)
Ya, Spanky quit bugging me.

VOICE
Harry please, quit calling him that vile name.

HARRY
Okay Miss Battleship.

VOICE
It's Miss Battle, anyway, I'm going to the hairdresser guys. Do you two think you can get along for an hour without destroying the house?
(voice turns ominous)
...'cause if you don't I will sell you to the circus.

Harry and Spanky gulp as they watch the legs disappear. We hear FOOTSTEPS recede and a door slam. Harry turns back to Spanky, but the little guy has already jumped onto the white sofa and has begun playing air guitar along with the hard rock video playing on the television.

SPANKY
(in a screaming squeal)
Back in Black! It's time to hit the sack!

Harry makes a dive for the remote control lying on the sofa. Spanky kicks it off the couch causing his brother to miss and tumble over the sofa onto the floor. Harry pleads with his brother in a shrill voice.

HARRY
Spanky, I mean Steve, stop. You heard what the land lady said!

Spanky

Ignores his brother. We FOLLOW him as he heads into the kitchen. He stops at the refrigerator, opens it and takes out the carton of milk and begins to drink from it, spilling some as he walks back toward the door.

HARRY

Rubbing his head, comes running into the kitchen, startling SPANKY causing him to spill the carton of milk onto the kitchen floor. HARRY steps into the milk causing him to slip and come crashing to the floor. When he looks up.

Spanky

Looks down at him with a goofy smile.

SPANKY
Oops.

HARRY
I am going to kill you when I get up.

SPANKY
Ah, you heard what Mrs. Battle said.

Spanky

Grabs a bag of cookies off the counter, smiles and EXITS through the swinging door.

HARRY

Swipes at SPANKY'S legs causing him to trip.

SPANKY

Falls, does a forward roll and comes back to his feet, still holding the bag of cookies and the half full carton of milk without spilling a drop.

HARRY

With his head stuck between the door and jam can't believe what he saw.

HARRY'S POV

Spanky is standing on the back of the couch eyeing the chandelier. Looking as if he is going to jump towards it.

HARRY

Gasps, and rockets toward the couch and SPANKY. SPANKY jumps, HARRY launches toward him like a wrestler throwing a cross body block. Catching him in the mid section. The two go crashing over the couch causing it to tip over in a loud crash. The DOOR opens. We SEE the two women's legs ENTER.

A PHONE rings.

MALE VOICE
(groggy)
Hello, yes this is Riley, who's this?

The comic strip stops animating and returns to the title panel. The rest of the panels are blank. We begin a slow PULL BACK to REVEAL that the animated strip was just a dilution of it's creator, Riley Jacobson. Who has been passed out on top of the piece of blank storyboard.

RILEY is in his early thirties, thin, unshaven. He wearily wakes and answers the phone. A beer can falls off the table.

RILEY
(into the phone)
What!

MAN'S VOICE
Riley! This is your editor, where the hell is this crap you sent me!

RILEY
(sheepishly)
This weeks strip?

MAN'S VOICE
Are you kidding me! What did I tell you? No more monkeys! No more jokes about master... Christ, you know.

RILEY
I don't know what you are talking about. Darwin's Apes is a satirical look at the evolution of the male species.

MAN'S VOICE
Riley! If you don't produce something that I can actually print, that won't have every newspaper in the country threatening obscenity charges, than you can kiss your job goodbye!

RILEY

Snaps his head up and falls back into his chair.

RILEY
Please, Roger I can give you a winner, just give me some time.

VOICE
I've given you four months and all you have produced is three weeks of dribble.

RILEY
Don't worry, by the end of the week you will have all of next months strip. I promise.

VOICE
I'm worried about you. But, okay. You have to the end of the week.

CUT TO:

INT -- DAY

The office of Roger Barton of Bar-goons Animation. ROGER is a man in his fifties. He sits in a large, padded leather chair, wearing an ill fitting brown suite. He is short and overweight and his face is craggy. He stares down at a pile of animation story boards. He scowls as he looks at them. In anger he throws them into the trash can. They are to large to fit and fall onto the floor. We see that they are entitled:

"DARWIN'S APES"

ROGER takes a shot of whisky from a Mickey bottle and scowls.

ROGER
How can I sell something called monkey men from Mars?

In disgust ROGER walks out of the door.

INT BAR-GOONS ANIMATION-- DAY

BARTON's POV

As he emerges from his office into a bustling animation studio where the workers have taken on the characteristics of the comic strips that are being produced. BARTON walks pass two BIT BULLS working at a drafting table. A parcel delivery FAT TABBY ENTERS and flirts with an unimpressed SIAMESE CAT secretary, filing her nails. A BULLDOG water delivery man replaces the empty tank with a fresh one as two MICE hurry past hauling a stack of pencils on a cart.

CLOSE

Roger fishes out a pack of smokes from his coat pocket and proceeds to take one out. Before he can put it in his mouth the SIAMESE secretary gives him a look of disdain and wags her paw.

ROGER
Animals.

As BARTON throws his cigarette into the trash a chubby balding man in a neatly pressed suite with a worried expression on his face, comes toward him. He is BARRY ASHTON, newspaper advertising executive. ASHTON is lead in by an entourage of ASSISTANTS trying to keep up. The other workers in human form, with similar characteristics as their animal characters, notice the man as he addresses them.

ASHTON
Starting tomorrow, there will be no more two hour lunches. Who takes that long to eat?

As the assistants dutifully record everything he says, Ashton sees a guy taking a nap at his desk.

ASHTON
(continuing)
And tell that guy sleeping over there that he's fired.

ASSISTANT
That's your brother, Bill.

ASHTON
Oh. Then wake him up and get him out of my site.

As the ASSISTANTS disappear, ASHTON approaches BARTON.

ASHTON
Barton! Where's Jacobson?

ROGER
Riley is at home sir, completing this weeks storyboard.

ASHTON
He better be! I pay him good money and all he has produced is garbage!

A YOUNG ANIMATOR rushes up to show ASHTON several story board ideas.

ANIMATOR
What do you think of these?

Ashton quickly scans the drawings.

ASHTON
No, that's not funny.

The ANIMATOR flips to another storyboard.

ASHTON
That's funny, put a hip hop hat on him, you know side ways. I'll even be funnier, huh Barton?

He grabs the board and shows BARTON. The rendering is of a group of various breeds of dogs, posing like a stereo type rapper, one even has a clock around his neck.

ROGER
(deadpan)
Yeah, that will kill them all, or they might want to kill me.

Ashton responds to Barton's sarcasm with a raised eyebrow.

ASHTON
If your boy Riley doesn't produce something funny, you will be out of a job.

He hands the storyboard back to the ANIMATOR who EXITS.

ASHTON
How long have you been in the business Barton?

ROGER
Thirty some years?

Ashton turns to his watch. TWO ANIMATED ELEPHANTS dragging a copier machine and a computer stack parade by.

ASHTON
Yeah, thirty years and all you have to show for it, is a car worth twenty five hundred bucks and debts up to your ass. All because you keep hiring losers who can't produce. Why?

ROGER
Riley has a good head for the business, he's just a little...

ASHTON
(interrupting)
Nuts.

ASHTON takes out a copy of the "NY TIMES" out of his pocket.

ASHTON
Here's your problem

(Reading)

ASHTON
Seen dining at the latest hot spot, with her new boyfriend was Haley Jacobson...estranged wife of young animator Riley Jacobson.

(Looks up)

ASHTON
His ex-wife acts like she belongs in a Pussy Cat Dolls show, but Riley thinks she's more like Faith Hill. That's what's eatin' him up.

ROGER
So what do you want me to do?

ASHTON
Hire someone to get some pictures of her doing her thing. Maybe that will wise him up.

ROGER
I can't, I won't.

ASHTON
Do it. She works in a dump of a club down in the village, called the Quill. You should get plenty of shots of her their.

ROGER
The jobs going to cost you, places like that aren't cheap.

ASHTON
Put it on your expense account, but hide it. I can't risk being audited again, over a stripper.

Suddenly BARTON jumps out of the way in reflex of a herd of ANIMATED SHEEP rushing by.

ASHTON
(chuckling)
Nervous Barton? It's just your minions heading to lunch. Now, when will I hear from you?

ROGER
As soon as I have something.

We FOLLOW ASHTON out of the office, through a door with a sign that reads:

"BAR-GOONS"

As he does the large sign falls crashing the now ANIMATED ASHTON in the form of a COYOTE. A ROADRUNNER like bird pops up into FRAME and sticks out its tongue and then races away in a cloud of dust.

ROGER
(shaking his head)
Damn I should be so lucky.

CUT TO:

EXT. BUSY CITY STREET-A BUS -- DAY

Is slowing to a stop in front of a rundown apartment building. Riley steps onto the bus carrying a portfolio case.

INT. BUSY CITY STREET-A BUS -- CONTINUOUS

Riley reaches into his pocket for the fare, but comes out with only eighty-five cents and a check for fifty dollars. He holds out his hand with the check.

BUS DRIVER
I'm not a bank pall, cash only.

The bus driver jerks his thumb toward the door. Riley suffers the public humiliation, of having to step down past the rest of the boarding passengers.

EXT. BUSY CITY STREET-A BUS -- CONTINUOUS

He walks around to the back of the bus where a gang of ANIMATED PUPPIES are loitering. As the bus pulls away, the puppies begin to laugh hysterically as Riley starts to walk dejected, carrying his portfolio low by the strap.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. NEW YORK STREET -- DAY

A billboard sign:

"NEW YORK TRANSIT-AMERICAS FINEST TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM"

PAN

Down to Riley...

RILEY
Ya, right.

We FOLLOW Riley as he crosses the street to a seedy house. A note is taped to the door.

CLOSE

On the note:

"How about tomorrow?"

RILEY

Takes the note and walks back across the street toward a bar. He climbs up a flight of stairs into a sports bar. The bar sports a red neon sign, that used to blink,

"Terminal Velocity Bar"

But now it just says,

"Terminal City"

INT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR -- DAY

The place used to be a pretty nice place in the fifties when it was built. Now the faded Irish green paint is peeling. There's various sports pennants and bobble heads on the shelf behind the bar. Working the bar is DANA. If you scraped off all the Goth makeup you's find an attractive women in her late twenties. She caters to an assortment of city low life's-- who are truly destitute.

RILEY

Enters the bar, lets his eyes adjust to the low lighting, then bellies up to the bar. He finds a spot between an ANIMATED ONE ARMED BEAR in an army surplus jacket and a PASSED OUT TURKEY. A loud car passes out front blaring an indistinguishable rap song.

The PASSED OUT TURKEY stirs, as he does his wing nocks over the BEARS partially full beer. The bear grabs a hold of the turkey by the neck and begins to throttle him. DANA intervenes.

DANA
(angry)
Hey, knock it off! Sit down Bruno, I'll get you another!

RILEY steps between the now human men, one large and burly, the other skinny and pale looking. Riley is a regular and knows Dana well.

RILEY
Hey Dana you mind if I help myself?

DANA
Sure Riley scotch is the first one.

Riley leans over the bar and pours himself a shot from the rack of bottles set up in their holders. Settling back into his stool, Riley turns to BRUNO.

RILEY
Hey what's new?

BRUNO
(disgruntled)
Got fired, they said I stole money.

The THIN MAN pipes up,

THIN MAN
(more angry)
My bitch left me.

RILEY
(sorry)
Well, sorry I asked, but that's women.

DANA overhears RILEY'S remark and storms down the length of the bar, shoving the THIN MAN out of the way.

DANA
(angry)
What was that about women Riley? Lemme' remind you pal, it was a women

(Emphasizing WOMEN)

DANA
Who took a hundred bucks out of the till and gave it to you so your landlord wouldn't toss you out on your ass. And it was a women...

(Again emphasizing WOMEN)

DANA
Who trusted you for the money when no one else in town would. And it's a women who's sick of waiting for you to get off your ass and draw something so you can make some money and pay me back.

RILEY
(hesitant)
Would this be the same women who's going to feel foolish when she finds out I got her money?

RILEY slides a check across the bar. DANA studies it. She calms down a little.

DANA
This is only fifty bucks, I need seventy-five before the accountant checks the books tomorrow.

RILEY
I'll have it in the morning, but for now can you lend me twenty bucks for dinner.

DANA
Where did you get this check from anyway?

RILEY
Check the name.

DANA
(reads)
Bar-goons Animation.

NEARBY, ROCKY an animated CAVEMAN sitting a few stools away starts banging peanuts against the bar.

ROCKY
(interjecting)
Bargain Animation? That like drawing pictures, or something? Hey I like that Chilly Willy one.

ROCKY chuckles at his own joke and goes back to cracking peanuts.

RILEY a little angry, STEPS up to ROCKY, a stocky muscular man.

RILEY
(angry)
Get this straight cave-boy. Animation takes a lot of skill, it's not like when you colour in your book.

(Realizing his message is falling on deaf ears)

RILEY
Forget it, you wouldn't understand.

RILEY STANDS and storms out of the DOOR.

ROCKY
(to Dana)
What's his problem?

DANA
He's having problems selling his work.

INT. QUILL CLUB -- NIGHT

BARTON ENTERS a run down, nondescript building in a run down factory area. As he walks through the doors of the 'Gentlemens' club he does so past an animated GORILLA bouncer. BARTON hands him a twenty.

ROGER
Barry says hi.

The GORILLA lets BARTON into the club.

BARTON looks over the dress of the bouncer, who is wearing a leather coat over a white shirt and tie.

ROGER
Is that your idea of a monkey suit.

GORILLA BOUNCER
(intimidating)
Do your business or leave, wise ass.

We FOLLOW BARTON down the hall toward the MAIN ROOM. We can hear laughter from within.

INT. MAIN ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

When BARTON steps through the doorway, we see the place. The club owners are trying to pass the place off as an upscale gentlemen's club, something like the speakeasies of the jazz era. Each table has a candle in the middle, no brass rail around the large riser in the middle of the room. Behind the bar, an OCTOPUS BARTENDER is using six of his arms to mix three cocktails at once. Meanwhile, FOUR FEMALE BUNNY WAITRESSES work the floor, serving drinks to the cat calling crowd.

ON STAGE

A "hack" comedian, an animated dog version of Rodney Dangerfield is in the middle of his set. 'Roderick Dangerous' as the banner behind him says, rips of one groaner after another to the chorus of playful 'boos' from the crowd.

THE AUDIENCE

Is loving the awfulness of the act. Laughing as they listen to the comedian deliver his truly bad set. The reaction is the same as the way people liked William Hung. People are laughing so hard tears begin to flow except...

BARTON

He lights a cigarette impatiently, not amused by the comedian. He spots an empty table off to the side and makes his way towards it. An OLD MAN stumbles down the aisle way, nearly falling into several patrons. As he passes BARTON, some of his drink spills all over BARTON'S jacket.

ROGER
Christ, you drunk, watch what you're doing!

OLD MAN
Sorry man.

The OLD MAN continues his wobbly path down the aisle. BARTON eyes and grabs the attention of a passing waitress.

ROGER
Scotch and soda, and can I get a napkin.

WAITRESS
Ya, sure...

(Handing a napkin)

WAITRESS
...and it's a two drink minimum.

The WAITRESS takes a napkin from her tray and throws it down on BARTON'S table. BARTON begins to wipe the spilt drink off his jacket.

ROGER
Great, make it a double.

BARTON throws a ten down on her tray. The WAITRESS grabs it and rudely walks off. At the same time the OLD MAN returns from his trip to the bathroom, still drunk, still staggering. This time he falls into ROGER'S lap. The OLD MAN starts laughing. BARTON throws him off, jumps up and grabs the OLD MAN by the shirt collar.

ROGER
I've had enough of you pal!

OLD MAN
(scared)
Calm down! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!

The BOUNCER ENTERS, stepping between the two men. He TURNS his attention to the OLD MAN.

BOUNCER
Leave now! You've have had enough to drink.

The OLD MAN now in the form of a nasty looking MONGREL DOG, slumps his head and submissively whimpers out. The GORILLA BOUNCER turns to BARTON, angry.

GORILLA BOUNCER
Sit! And don't make me angry again...

A BUNNY hand ENTERS and plops a drink down on BARTON'S table. ROGER drops into his chair and swallows a large sip of his drink with a jerk of his head.

ON STAGE

The COMEDIANS set has reached it's end. RODERICK ends his set by dousing the front row of customers with a bottle of seltzer water. Two LARGE MEN stand and attempt to get onto stage and go after the 'hack' comedians. Two BOUNCERS hold them off. The COMEDIAN takes the opportunity to run off stage, doing so in a 'Charlie Chaplin, as a Keystone Cop' way, albeit, poorly the rest of the CROWD roars with laughter.

Now, from behind BARTON, we hear a high pitched VOICE.

WOMEN SELLING FLOWERS
Flower sir...Roger? Is that you?

ROGER
Ya, it's me nice to see you again Ginger.

GINGER
Where have you been? I've missed you around.

ROGER
Wish I could say the same. What are you working here for, Ginger?

GINGER
Works been slow, I needed something. I got a kid.

ROGER
I guess it's better being in here than you know...

GINGER
Hey! What's that supposed to mean?

ROGER
Your not a spring chicken anymore.

GINGER
Hey, I still got it. Those kids out there can't hold a candle to me. I used to make a couple grand a night.

ROGER
I have to admit, we used to have some fun.

GINGER
We still could.

ROGER
Sorry Ginger, I've retired. Wouldn't look good for business.

GINGER
Ya, right, your company produces those dirty comic books. I've seen them in the bathroom. Anyway, why are you here?

ROGER
Came here to talk to Haley Jacobson.

GINGER
You and every other guy in here, good luck.

ROGER
I don't mean it like that. I need her to give Riley another chance.

GINGER
You have a better chance of scoring with her.

GINGER walks away laughing. The lights dim.

ON STAGE

A DEPRESSING LOOKING MAN walks out with the spotlight following him. He's the EMCEE.

EMCEE
(deadpan)
Hello everybody. I hope you're all having as much fun as I am. I have a small announcement to make, Haley will not be able to dance for you tonight.

There's a roar of disapproval from the men in the audience. They shower him with empty beer cups. One flies from the crowd that isn't empty and hits the back wall, just missing the EMCEE.

EMCEE
(deadpan)
I was kidding. Without further ado, here's a women times two, the big apples' own enchantress of the night...Haley Jacobson!

There is an excited APPLAUSE from the CROWD as the lights dim. An ANIMATED BLACK CAT in shades hits the into music. 'Do her right' a spot light hits the curtain. Now a curvy long leg pokes out teasingly. The ANIMATED CROWD goes wild, as the rest of the body belonging to the character emerges. HALEY JACOBSON is a generously endowed blonde bombshell, ala 'Marilyn Monroe'. She's an ANIMATED human. Beautiful and sexy. Her figure is what many adolescents fantasies.

REACTION-ROGER

This is not quite the girl he expected Riley to have been married to. His jaw drops. His reaction is similar ri that of everyone around the room. The ANIMATED DOGS are panting heavily.

CLOSE-UP- HALEY

As she begins to strip in time to the music, she playfully, slowly unzips the zipper of her dress from hip to bust. Revealing a skimpy black bra and thong. HALEY comes off the riser, slinkily. She walks down the front row, teasing the DOGS as she goes.

An ANIMATED BARTON in the form of a WOLF lets out a yell, starting with a low 'Wolfman Jack' growl and crescendos in a full yelp. As the WOLF makes a rush for the stage, the GORILLA BOUNCER puts him back into his seat. BARTON, groggy shakes his head and returns to his human form.

HALEY continues her act, uninhibited by the reactions of the men. HALEY saunters over to a table of YOUNG MEN. Teasingly, she swirls the wisps of one mans hair, like a curly cue. He giggles gleefully and makes a grab at Haley's breasts. She slaps him and slips out of his grasp.

HALEY
(singing along with the song)
If you want her, you have to treat her right.

Now HALEY works her way over to BARTON. She stops at his table and sings tauntingly. Then, with a flourish, she throws herself into his lap and belts out the last line of the song.

HALEY
You have to treat her right.

There is a rowdy applause when she finishes, HALEY looks deep into ROGER's eyes.

HALEY
Thanks for the lap.

Before ROGER can answer, HALEY jumps off and slinks off stage, leaving BARTON speechless. He slugs the rest of his drink down and wipes the sweat from his brow.

When the lights come up, BARTON looks over to where GINGER is working the tables. She notices ROGER, grabs one of her roses and walks over to him. Hands him the rose and gives him a big wink. ROGER stands, throws a twenty down on the table and disappears backstage, following the BOUNCER.

BACKSTAGE

BARTON steps past the curtain, keeping a discrete distance. He follows the BOUNCER down a corridor and around the corner. The BOUNCER stops and knocks in the dressing room door. After a moment, it opens and the BOUNCER goes inside. ROGER checks over his shoulder, the corridor is empty. He eases over to the door and peaks through the crack in the partially open door.

POV THROUGH THE DOOR

HALEY is seated at her dressing table. The BOUNCER is busy applying lotion to one of her long legs, starting from the calf. As he reaches her upper thigh, he begins to smile gleefully. HALEY ever aware of his intentions swings her leg sideways, catching the BOUNCER in the groin. Haley laughs as she reaches for a tissue. The BOUNCER, embarrassed stands and EXITS the room.

ANGLE ON BARTON

while continuing to spy. The BOUNCER EXITS through the door catching ROGER off guard.

BOUNCER
Hey, what do think your doing back here?

ROGER
What do think you where doing in there?

The BOUNCER smiles, recognizes BARTON.

BOUNCER
Oh, it's Howling Wolf.

The BOUNCER grabs BARTON by the belt and leads him toward the fire door. He opens the fire door and heaves ROGER out.

EXT. ALLEY -- NIGHT

An ANIMATED WOLF comes flying out of the door and crashes into a bunch of garbage cans in the alley. The GORILLA BOUNCER stands in the doorway brushing his hands together, laughing at the dazed BARTON.

GORILLA BOUNCER
And don't let me catch you in here again!

ROGER
Go eat a bunch of bananas you ape.

The BOUNCER slams the door, BARTON picks himself up out of the garbage. He brushes himself off, then starts down the alley toward the rear of a building. We FOLLOW him around the corner where he steps under HALEY'S dressing room window. He drags over a garbage canto stand up on, takes out a small disposable camera out of his pocket. He hauls himself up on the garbage can and aims the camera through the corner of the window, as we HEAR a muttered conversation from within.

BOUNCER
So how about coming back to my place tonight?

HALEY
No, Marty, I can't, I have a date with Chad.

BOUNCER
(hurt)
But you promised...

HALEY
Oh, all right. But only for a couple of minutes.

BARTON'S EYES show his disgust.

ROGER
(under his breath)
I'm sure a couple of minutes is all it will take.

As he starts CLICKING pictures...

CUT TO:

EXT. RILEY'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT

There's one light on in the building high on the fifth floor.

INT. RILEY'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT

It's a studio apartment with walls covered with posters of 'Fritz the Cat' and Pavlov's Dog'. RILEY is seated behind a drafting table. Standing nearby is BARTON. He tries to calm an irate RILEY, who's holding a set of photos. Riley begins to rant.

RILEY
That bitch! Okay, let me get this straight, she's not only screwing the bouncer, she's screwing some guy named Chats too!

ROGER
His name is Chad, Chats are those things you punch.

RILEY
And that's what I'm going to do to him.

ROGER
Relax Riley, did you think you where the first guy Haley slept with?

RILEY
(flustered)
No! But, Christ, why? Let me see the pictures again.

BARTON hands RILEY the pictures who takes another look at them.

CLOSE-PHOTOS

They're shots of HALEY and the BOUNCER lying down in the throws of ecstasy.

BACK TO BARTON

ROGER gets up and crosses the room to the card table acting as a kitchen table. He pours two drinks from a bottle of Scotch as Riley starts sobbing.

RILEY
But I loved Haley, she was...the...John to my Paul.

ROGER
(mumbling)
More like Yoko.

RILEY
What?

ROGER
Nothing...look, drink this and goddamn it, stop crying.

ROGER hands RILEY a drink. Riley sniffles as he slugs the drink back.

RILEY
What do I do now?

ROGER
Well the important thing now Riley, is to put this relationship behind you.

ROGER, slugs his drink down in one gulp, so that he can gain the courage to continue his speech.

ROGER
I know this all seems painful now, but you'll find someone new, a good looking guy like you...

We FOLLOW BARTON as he walks back to the kitchen table and pours himself another drink, and then takes another slug.

ROGER
...the girls will be breaking down the door.

CLOSE- RILEY

The booze is taking effect. RILEY starts pounding on the drafting table, the story board he was working on begins to shake violently.

TIGHT-ON THE STORY BOARD

As it comes to life. HARRY MONKEY is irate. There's a rumble like a volcano ready to explode. Suddenly HARRY, foaming at the mouth and grunting, grabs a hold of HALEY BUNNY and begins to violently choke her. HALEY shrieks in horror as HARRY's grunting becomes more violent. The page begins to swirl as we,

PAN OUT:

To RILEY who angrily crumbles the story board into a ball and throws it.

RILEY
Son-of-a bitch.

(Turns)

RILEY
Sorry.

ROGER
Ah, I think I will be going now. And if you want my advice, forget about Haley, so you can get on with your life.

RILEY
(defiant)
Never!

Suddenly Riley jumps up and gets into Barton's face

RILEY
(angrily)
Just because all your marriages have ended in disaster doesn't mean mine and Haley's relationship are over. You'll see. We will be back together!

RILEY steps back and staggers and trips over the area rug, falling hard to the floor.

ROGER
Sure. I suggest you sleep on it. And when you wake up, you can get back to what you do best, draw cartoons.

BARTON EXITS the door slamming it behind him, leaving RILEY prone on the floor. From another APARTMENT an old lady yells.

OLD WOMEN
Will you two shut up!

ROGER groans as he rolls over.

FADE OUT:

INT. ROGER'S HOUSE --EARLY MORNING

CLOSE-EMPTY BOOZE BOTTLE

PULL BACK to REVEAL the bottle's on the floor next to the couch. BARTON's passed out on it. He's still dressed in the clothes from the night before.

PAN around the small one bedroom bungalow. In the kitchen, BARTON has created a makeshift photo lab. WE SEE a curtain on a clothesline, various trays and some pictures up on clothespins. The pictures depict HALEY and the BOUNCER in various states of undress.

Now there is a LOUD pounding on the door, but ROGER is still passed out. The pounding gets LOUDER, finally waking him, who staggers to the door. BARTON OPENS it and squints from the intense daylight. When his eyes focus,

REVEAL, A COP

ROGER
(annoyed)
Ya, what?

The COP ignores the question and regards ROGER with a look of disgust.

COP
Do you know a Riley Jacobson?

ROGER
Ya, sure, he works for me, why?

COP
He killed someone last night and you where the last person to talk to him, that's what.

ROGER
(under his breath)
Oh, Riley what have you gotten yourself into.

COP
A heap of trouble.

EXT. QUILL CLUB -- DAY

A New York police car turns into the lot of the Quill Club. There's all kinds of official activity outside the club...cop cars, a coroners truck, etcetera,

ROGER and the COP get out of the police car. The COP starts into the club, but he realizes BARTON isn't following him. He turns to see BARTON looking transfixed.

COP
Now what?

ROGER
Something doesn't feel right, but I don't know what.

ROGER'S P.o.v.

The sky over the club turns grey and the clouds form into the shape of an arrow pointing down at the COP.

COP, walks back and takes ROGER's arm.

COP
Let's go, somebody wants to see you.

The COP leads ROGER into the club.

INT. QUILL CLUB -- MOMENTS LATER

The COP leads ROGER into a large back office, stuffed with boxes of promotional items and liquor. The COP stops where a large safe is secured to the floor. A FORENSIC TEAM is at work around the safe. Taking pictures of a body half obscured by the safe.

COP
Looks like Riley surprised him, shot him, but didn't touch anything in a wide open safe, why would that be Barton?

ROGER
Riley, didn't do this, he couldn't have.

COP
Wait here...

The COP walks to HALEY'S dressing room where a sobbing HALEY is being interrogated. We can only see her, not the person doing the interrogation.

BACK in the OFFICE, ROGER slides over to where the FORENSIC guys are dusting the safe in which a stack of photographs partially stick out. One of the FORENSIC guys looks up from his work.

FORENSIC #1
Say, aren't you Roger Barton, you used to draw for DC comics, I used to read all your true crime fighter stuff as a kid, you where great, what happened?

ROGER ignores the young mans question and surveys the scene of the crime. The door of the safe is ajar. Barton tries to look inside. FORENSIC #2 closes the door with his knee.

Now we HEAR the voice of HALEY from behind them.

HALEY
Mister Barton?

ROGER turns to the voice. HALEY slaps him hard enough across the face too leave a hand print.

HALEY
I hope your proud of yourself!

She turns on her heel and storms off, crying. ROGER, smarting, looks after dismayed as do the FORENSICS guys.

FORENSIC #1
I guess she doesn't like you.

FORENSIC #2
What did you do to piss off a piece of ass like that?

Now two white jump suited men from the CORONERS office start to put the body into a body bag. As the hand is about to be tucked into the bag, ROGER stops the CORONER TECHNICIAN.

ROGER
What's that under his fingernails?

CLOSE-HAND

Imbedded under the fingernails is a reddish-brown substance.

FORENSIC #1
Could be blood...so?

ROGER squats down to take a closer look.

ROGER
That's not blood, Christ, it's ink.

Suddenly, a hand comes down on BARTON's shoulder. ROGER follows the hand up, past black pants, a black overcoat, to a sunken in face with a large beak like nose. The head is shaved. Tinted glasses obscure the eyes. The figure is backlit from a dim forty watt bulb giving the figure a ghoulish shadowy appearance. Although human, the appearance is almost cartoon like grim reaper.

DETECTIVE HEATH, accompanied by the COP.

HEATH
Trying to destroy evidence?

COP
No, Barton here was just trying to help, weren't you, Barton?

HEATH
Get a sample, what ever it is.

HEATH takes his hand off Barton's shoulder.

HEATH
Looks like the deceased struggled with your buddy who had ink on his hands. Any reason why Mister Jacobson would be here?

BARTON stands to face the DETECTIVE, who towers over him.

ROGER
Riley's hands where always covered in ink, yes he draws for me, but like I told your lieutenant, he couldn't have done this.

HEATH
We talked to a Mister Ashton, he told us Riley Jacobson's demeanor changed after Miss Jacobson, out there, left him.

ROGER
She was having an affair with the bouncer.

HEATH
He became so agitated when he found out that he was overheard saying that nothing would stand in the way of him getting him getting his ex-wife back. Is that true?

ROGER
Look pal, I don't like your tone.

HEATH
Would you rather listen to the judge?

HEATH smiles thinly at BARTON, turns and walks with a purpose towards the door. The COP and ROGER follow.

HEATH
Riley's movements are fairly clear. After you left him last night, he came back to the club, jimmied the back door open, grabbed a bat, but...

EXT. QUILL CLUB -- CONTINUOUS

HEATH leads the group outside and indicates a window.

HEATH
...confronted the deceased in his office, they struggled, the bat was knocked out of Riley's hands. They struggled more, until Mister Jacobson was able to get a hold of the bouncers gun and shot him. In the course of the struggle, the bouncer scratched Riley, leaving the traces of ink under his fingernails. After he cold bloodily killed the bouncer, Riley ran. Do you know where?

Heath nods his toward a group of sinister looking ANIMATED WEASELS. They're loitering by a truck with 'City Rat Catchers' on the side, cleaning their fingernails with knives and loading their guns.

ROGER
I think I'll call my lawyer now. I think.

HEATH
Yes, they do good work.

(Turns back to BARTON)

HEATH
Riley didn't contact you by any chance, did he?

ROGER
Why would he contact me? I just took some lousy pictures.

HEATH
So you wouldn't have any idea where he might be?

ROGER
The hell I would know.

HEATH steps into BARTON'S face.

HEATH
Interesting choice of words, if you don't co-operate and tell me where your friend is, you and Mister Jacobson will wish you where both in hell. You would have a better time.

HEATH EXITS. BARTON shoots a look to the COP.

ROGER
(aside)
What crawled up his ass?

COP
He's sen the worse crimes imaginable and unfortunately it's taken a toll on him. He's a good cop though.

As HEATH drives off the WEASELS get into the rat catcher truck and drive off behind.

INT. JAIL HOUSE -- NIGHT

STEVE "SPANKY" MONKEY is led into the prison by TWO LARGE PIT BULL cops. They have the little monkey held by the belt loops, forcing STEVE to walk in an uncomfortable fashion. His face shows a look of panic. DETECTIVE DEATH ENTERS.

SPANKY
(petrified)
No, please! Not Detective Death!

As SPANKY kicks his feet, he knocks the coffee the buzzard like detective is holding, causing it to spill all over his suit.

DEATH
Why you...filthy ape, look what you did to my suit.

SPANKY
I'll have it cleaned for you, if you let me go.

DEATH
You little...never mind. Send him to the tank.

The TWO PIT BULL'S drag SPANKY over towards the 'Tank'.

SPANKY
Oh, no! Not the tank!

SPANKY struggles as the dogs grab him by the rear end and lifts him into the air.

SPANKY
Hey, don't I have any rights?

DEATH
Yes, you do...don't worry, your punishment will be fair.

A group of TWELVE ANIMATED PIRATES ENTER. In a chorus of "aarrs!" The arrange themselves into a two row jury. TWO WEASELS in suites ENTER behind.

DEATH
Court is now in session.

He smacks SPANKY in the head.

DEATH
Spanky Monkey, you are charged with one count of murder. How does the jury find him.

The PIRATE JURY delivers their verdict instantly. They raise their mugs of beer and simultaneously chant.

PIRATE JURY
Guilty!

An ANIMATED 'HOWARD COSELL" ENTERS, a microphone drops from the ceiling. A RING CARD BUNNY walks around carrying a card reading "12-0"

HOWARD
And there you have it, a tough fought battle, but in the end the little guy was no match. The winner and still champion...

DEATH
I am Detective Death and I sentence you...

TIGHT as DEATH announces SPANKY'S fate like a game show host, with a guttural scream.

DEATH
...to the tank!

SPANKY
(over melodramatic)
No! Not the tank! I'm too young to die!

As DEATH approaches SPANKY who is being held by his ankles over a large tank of fluid by the PIT BULLS. DEATH gives the thumbs down sign, the dogs drop SPANKY into the tank.

INT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR -- DAY

A hand belonging to RILEY knocks over a glass of beer onto a story board, staining the work. We FOLLOW up to RILEY who is awaken from his drunken stupor by the accident.

RILEY
Shit, quick, Dana throw me a rag!

DANA, is behind the bar cutting fruit and preparing fir the days bartending duties. RILEY is the only customer. He obviously been drinking all night. DANA grabs a towel and starts to blot up the spilt drink. RILEY grabs it and tries to salvage his work.

DANA
Christ Riley, you look like shit!

RILEY
Thanks, I know okay! I've got alto on my mind right now. I stayed up all night trying to get this weeks storyboard done. If I don't get it over to the office by this afternoon, I'm going to get canned. Then I can't pay you.

DANA
I suggest you start downing the coffee then. Here.

DANA TURNS and pours a cup of coffee from a machine behind her, TURNS back and hands it to RILEY who takes the cup and raises it in the air in a mock toast.

RILEY
Here's to my career. I hope all those bastards who say it's over like crow, because I'm bringing a big helping of it.

RILEY, stuffs his storyboards into his portfolio and slugs down his last mouthful of coffee.

VOICE
Get me and my buddy Riley a round.

RILEY stops and follows DANA'S eyes down the bar. A man with slicked back, balding hair climbs up onto the stool next to RILEY.

DANA
What will you have sweetie?

ASHTON
You serve martinis?

DANA
If you want.

BARRY ASHTON slides his briefcase onto the bar.

ASHTON
Make it dry, baby, or do you prefer it wet?

ASHTON TURNS to RILEY.

ASHTON
I thought I'd find you here, Jacobson.

RILEY
Kind of lost aren't you Mister Ashton? What brings you to my neibourhood?

ASHTON
Yeah, I'd thought I'd go slummin' besides I've got some information you might you'd be interested in.

RILEY
What's that?

ASHTON
Someone's trying to frame you for the murder of the bouncer your ex-wife's been screwing.

RILEY
What the hell are you talking about?

ASHTON
The goon was killed last night and the cops are looking for you. I'd get out of here.

RILEY
I didn't kill anyone! I was home all night, ask Barton.

DANA brings ASHTON his martini. He turns his attention to her.

ASHTON
Thanks, babe.

When DANA turns around, ASHTON pats her on the rear. From over her shoulder.

DANA
Move it or lose it.

DANA spins around and produces a switchblade, snapping it open.

DANA
Got it...good.

ASHTON throws his hands in the air in mock defense. RILEY jumps back, his face shows a look of freight.

ASHTON
Easy babe, you can't help a guy for trying. Come on, I may look old, but I make up for it with experience. If you know what I mean.

RILEY
Look can we get back to me? What about this murder?

ASHTON returns his attention to RILEY.

ASHTON
C'mon Riley, where you so drunk that you don't remember what you did. Hey no offense, but, why did I hire a bum like you anyway?

DANA
(chiming in)
I kind of wondered that myself.

RILEY
Thanks for the vote of confidence.

ASHTON
And another thing. The cops say they found the safe empty, except a bunch of pictures of the two in the act. Did you take the money?

RILEY
No! What money? The pictures? I know all about them, I don't care.

ASHTON
Someone killed him to shut him up. That's what this is all about.

DANA
What's with the pictures Riley?

RILEY
Dana please, stick to watering down the drinks, will you?

ASHTON
I believe you Riley when you say you didn't do it, but watch your back. They found black ink under the goons fingernails.

RILEY
So what? Everybody uses black ink.

ASHTON
India ink. The type cartoonists use. The kind you use. Know any other animators who would want this guy dead?

DANA
What happened Riley?

ASHTON
What's your next move Riley?

RILEY
My next move? That's easy, I'm getting up and I'm walking out the door and continuing my life.

RILEY stands.

DANA
So that's it? Your just going to wait for the cops to come get you?

RILEY
I didn't say that. Haley will pay for this, that bitch is the one who's trying to frame me. Here Ashton, give these storyboards to Barton.

DANA
I'm worried about you Riley, but I don't think your a killer.

RILEY ignores her and walks out the door.

INT. RILEY'S APARTMENT -- DAY

RILEY comes in the door with his jacket over his arm. He tosses the jacket over a chair and walks to the bed and flops down into a pile of clothing and rumpled bedding and passes out.

HARRY MONKEY

Asleep in the bed.

RILEY still with his back to HARRY, rolls over and comes eye to eye with HARRY. They lock eyes. RILEY freaks out while HARRY remains calm.

RILEY
What the hell?

HARRY
(in a Bogart like tone)
Names Harry, Harry Monkey.

RILEY
I know who you are, I mean what you are, my creation. What the hell are you doing in my bed?

HARRY
I needed a place to hide, they got Steve and their looking for me. I'm in trouble Riley, I need your help.

RILEY
(dumb founded)
Your not real! I created you. Your a figment of my imagination. That's all.

HARRY
Don't worry Riley, no one knows I'm here.

RILEY
What's going on here?

HARRY
I asked around Riley, the guy at the newspaper stand, the guy at the diner, everyone knows about the murder.

RILEY
(panic)
Get out of here! I mean get out of my head!

RILEY jumps up and tries to open the front door, but HARRY blocks it, spider like, arms and legs extended.

HARRY
Please, RILEY, don't do, I'm not guilty, I didn't do it, I swear.

RILEY gives up trying to open the door and grabs HARRY, but he is much to big and doesn't move.

HARRY
Sure, I wanted Haley back, but not that way.

RILEY lunges again for the door knob. HARRY blocks him.

HARRY
After ~I left you, I went to see her at the Quill Club.

RILEY stops struggling and listens intensively too Harry.

HARRY
She was on stage, I was there to woo her back.

HARRY takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolds it.

HARRY
Look, I even to tried to write a love letter, but all I got down was dear Haley. Then I started crying. Look the papers still wet.

RILEY leaps for HARRY and gets him by the throat. He rips the paper out of his hand and crumples it up and throws it down. He opens the door, throws HARRY out and quickly shuts the door. He leans against it breathing hard. Suddenly, HARRY slams open the door sending RILEY to the floor in a heap.

HARRY
Hey! Now I'm mad! My plan is to get Haley back and I'm not stopping until I do. But I need your help to do it.

RILEY crosses to the kitchen area and heads to the cabinet under the sink and comes out with a bottle of scotch. He takes the cap off and takes a swig.

RILEY
Look pal, if you're still here when I finish this off, I'm calling the cops.

HARRY
Don't do that I'm innocent. The police have already thrown Steve into the tank, don't throw me in there as well.

RILEY
If you're innocent, why did you run?

HARRY
We apes are allergic to cops, get it.

RILEY shoots down another swig of scotch.

RILEY
That's it!

RILEY crosses to the phone on the counter and lifts the receiver and starts to dial.

HARRY
That's it! The moment of truth! I've spoken the truth, and you don't believe me. Go ahead and phone the cops, it will be my coup de gars.

As Riley's finger hovers over the one, he puts his whisky bottle over a photograph in the newspaper on the counter.

HARRY
What's wrong?

Riley's attention is drawn to the photograph. Riley moves the whisky bottle.

POV-OF THE NEWSPAPER

The whisky bottle rests next to a picture of the BOUNCER and HALEY. The whisky bottle acts like a mirror, illuminating the back corner of the photo. In which, ASHTON sits at a table.

CLOSE- RILEY

He looks as if the truth has hit him in the face.

RILEY
Goddamn you Ashton.

Riley slowly returns the phone to the cradle.

HARRY
Now do you believe me?

Now, outside we HEAR tires screeching to a halt. RILEY RUNs to the window and pulls back the drapes. His eyes show his fear.

RILEY'S POV

A cop car has stopped in front of the apartment. Several police pile out.

RILEY jerks back the curtain.

HARRY
Thanks for believing me Riley.

RILEY slumps to the floor.

EXT. RILEY'S APARTMENT -- DAY

The COPS are filing up the walk to the front door. The leader eNTERS and starts up the stairs leading to RILEY'S apartment and pounds on the door.

POLICE OFFICER
Police!

INT. RILEY'S APARTMENT -- CONTINUOUS

RILEY jumps up from the floor and runs to the closet and opens it. A barrage of junk and sporting equipment fall out, knocking him to the floor. RILEY quickly gets up and looks for a new hiding spot under the bed.

Bang! Bang! Bang! The knocking is more impatient. RILEY breaths heavily from his hiding place under the bed.

RILEY
(whispering)
Christ think Riley.

POV

Riley looks over to a smiling HARRY who looks calm lying next to him under the bed.

RILEY
(whispering)
Not now go away.

POLICE OFFICER
Open up!

EXT. RILEY'S DOOR -- MOMENTS LATER

The POLICE proceed to break down the door, led by the leader. The remaining cops pile through the door into the apartment.

INT. RILEY'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

The COPS begin to search the apartment, opening cupboards and doors, overturning furniture. The head COP spots blood all over the floor.

HEAD COP
We got him.

But when he looks behind the counter, it's only a broken bottle of ketchup.

EXT. REAR OF APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

RILEY runs down the alley, grunting and growling, severely out of shape.

RILEY
(to himself out of breath)
Oh shit
(breath)
What the hell is this all about?

EXT. RILEY'S APARTMENT-THE FIRE SCAPE -- MOMENTS LATER

THE COPS

Come piling down the fire scape. They search the area. Suddenly one of them freeze to a point. TWO KIDS walk past the alley way dressed in sports clothes, adorned with a hockey logo. One of them blows into a plastic horn, letting out a bad, 'dum-dee-dum-teed-um'.

COP #1
Charge!

With that the COPS are off on the trail.

EXT. STREET --MOMENT LATER

RILEY emerges from the alley. He PAUSES momentarily to take a breath, HARRY APPEARS from around the corner smiling.

RILEY
Go away.

HARRY
If you want me off your back, you better follow me, okay?

RILEY
Fine.

HARRY
Good. This way.

They start across the street, almost getting hit by a cab pulling up to a house.

THE COPS

Come in a pack around the corner. They search the street for signs of RILEY, but when they see the waiting cab they take notice.

COP #1
They're!

He points toward the cab in which a hooded figure is about to ENTER, similar in height and build as RILEY. The cops almost trip on themselves as the surround the cab.

INT. CAB -- MOMENT LATER

The cabby raises his hands like he was being held up. The passenger, a WOMEN, SCREAMS as the cops search the cab. But don't see RILEY. As quickly as they surround the cab, they EXIT.

EXT. CAB -- MOMENTS LATER

As it pulls away. The COPS look around perplexed.

COP #1
Funny, I swear I saw him.

INT. CAB -- MOMENTS LATER

The WOMEN in the back of the cab removes a pile of dry cleaning from the seat opposite her. RILEY emerges from the bottom of the stack, SPITTING out the plastic bag covering his face. He hands five bucks to the driver.

RILEY
Thanks miss, thanks Jimmy, I'll explain later. It's all a mistake, really. Pull over here.

RILEY EXITS the cab, leaving the WOMEN and his friend looking confused.

INT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR -- DAY

DANA is busy adding water to the bottles of booze. The television is set to an episode of 'COPS' the theme song, 'Bad boys, bad boys, what'cha gonna do' is blaring. A crime reporter breaks into the show with a special bulletin.

CRIME REPORTER
This is a crime stoppers update. A city wide man hunt is on for one Riley Jacobson, suspect In the murder of an area bouncer. Police describe him as tall, skinny and dangerous...

DANA turns just as RILEY runs into the bar.

DANA
What the hell are you doing here Riley?!

RILEY motions with a calm down motion.

RILEY
Calm down Dana, it's all a mistake.

DANA
A mistake? Your on an episode of crime stoppers!

RILEY
(begging)
Please help me.

HARRY appears behind RILEY, his hands folded together in a praying motion. His eyes are wide and tearful.

DANA
Alright, but if they start questioning me, your on your own.

RILEY
Deal, anything. Hey you got anything to eat?

DANA shoves over a bowl of peanuts to RILEY who starts to wolf down the nuts. HARRY grabs a large handful and makes a drinking motion.

RILEY
Got anything to drink?

DANA
(annoyed)
No! Now get in the back room and hide yourself, before someone sees you.

We FOLLOW DANA as she leads RILEY across the hall. She stops at a door, unlocks it and leads them into the room.

INT. BACK ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

It's a tiny storage room with an old rack full of assorted cleaning supplies. Boxes are stacked all around. DANA shuts and locks the door behind her. RILEY goes to a metal locker and looks for a weapon amongst a pile of plumbing tools. He decides on the large crescent wrench.

DANA
I ought to have my head examined.

RILEY
Your helping me because you like me. Admit it.

DANA
Don't flatter yourself, I'm helping you because you would make a lousy bum buddy in jail. You don't have an ass.

RILEY quiets like a child for a moment.

RILEY
Thanks, I think.

HARRY mocks RILEY, making kissing noises. RILEY gives him an elbow.

HARRY
Ow! I was just trying to keep the mood light.

RILEY
(muttered)
This isn't the time for jokes.

DANA
You say something?

RILEY
No, nothing. I mean, that after this is all over we will all have a big laugh.

DANA
Sure, assuming the cops don't kill you. If they don't I will, if you don't tell me how you plan to get out of this mess.

RILEY throws the newspaper clipping of ASHTON standing behind HALEY and the BOUNCER, onto the desk.

RILEY
If I can convince the cops that it was Ashton who killed the bouncer, I will be free of the charges.

DANA
Why would Ashton want to kill a bouncer?

RILEY
He was jealous, he wanted Haley.

DANA
Okay, now we know Ashton wasn't of sound mind, but are you sure your ex-wife didn't give him a piece of her sound body.

RILEY
I resent that. Haley wasn't a slut. I should know...you know what I mean.

DANA
I believe you, trust me. Anyway, Ashton got a little hot for Haley and tried to woo her with his money, she refused and got her muscle head boyfriend to back up her point. Ashton got mad and got rid of the competition. Is that your story?

RILEY
That's about right Dana, but what I can't figure out, is why didn't Ashton just buy the club and get rid of the guy?

DANA
That wouldn't get him Haley.

RILEY
Unless, it wasn't Haley he wanted. Maybe it was her fathers money. Right! Her father is the head of some mega-media corporation. If he got in good with him, he could syndicate his comics all over the world.

DANA
Marrying Haley didn't help your career any, why?

RILEY
Her dad hated me because I'm just a working stiff, but Ashton has money up to his big fat rear. Haley's dad doesn't care who she marries, just as long as they live up to his standards.

Dana whistles over Riley's deductions.

DANA
Nice shit, Sherlock. Now all you have to do is convince the cops.

RILEY
Sure, then maybe Haley will take me back.

DANA
One step at a time.

RILEY and DANA stand and go to the door. HARRY follows them eagerly.

RILEY
(whispering)
Hear anything?

DANA
Nothing, I'll go out, stay calm. I'll come back to get you.

DANA EXITS, slams the door shut and re-locks it.

INT. PECAR CLUB -- DAY

CLOSE- ASHTON

He's in a booth in the middle of a business lunch.

ASHTON
Maybe money grows on trees where your from, Merrick, but not at Bar-goons Animations.

WIDEN-TO REVEAL

That ASHTON is sharing a booth with RICHARD MERRICK and his daughter HALEY.

MERRICK
Look, money aside, Riley Jacobson may have been willing to be your lackey, but I'm not.

ACROSS THE ROOM

A WAITER leads BARTON to a table near the door.

ROGER
This will be fine, I'll take a Scotch, I'll be right back.

ROGER looks across the room and notices MERRICK and ASHTON. He gets up from the table and starts across the room.

AT ASHTON'S TABLE

HALEY
I think you should know Barry darling, daddy here is in negotiations with Seltzer Animations to buy their entire catalogue.

ASHTON
Trying to scare up a building war between me and Seltzer, hmm? Well it won't work. I'll cut a deal with the Japanese, that will expose Bar-goon comics or millions of new readers.

MERRICK
Don't kid yourself, Barry, all you got is a drunk who draws like a school kid. What's his strip called, spanking the monkey?

MERRICK looks over to his daughter for confirmation of his joke, HALEY returns with a demeaning laugh toward ASHTON.

ASHTON
We'll see.

Now, BARTON ARRIVES, pulls a chair from the next table and sits down.

ROGER
Hello, Ashton. What a surprise to see you here.

ASHTON
Barton, what the hell are you doing here?

ROGER
I just thought I'd drop by and show you a photograph.

ASHTON
Forget it, I'll look at it later.

ROGER
This ones good, you'll be interested in this one.

BARTON takes out two photographs. The FIRST one is the one of HALEY and the BOUNCER in a compromising position. The SECOND a better copy of the newspaper photo with ASHTON standing behind HALEY and the BOUNCER. He puts them in the middle of the table.

ROGER
Anyway...enjoy your dinner.

BARTON stands and departs. But, his visit has done the trick. ASHTON looks like he has seen a ghost. We FOLLOW ROGER across the room to where his Scotch is waiting. BARTON looks over to ASHTON'S table where a heated discussion has ensued, he picks up his drink and makes a mock toast while smiling, thrilled with how his plan has worked.

BARTON'S P.o.v.

We SEE ASHTON, arguing with MERRICK. HALEY looks at the pictures with an embarrassed look on her face.

TIGHT

In on ASHTON'S table.

ASHTON
I don't know what he's trying to pull, but somebody's going to have to take care of him.

HALEY
Like you took care of Marty, no thanks.

MERRICK
Never mind, I'll take care of it. Come on!

MERRICK and HALEY stand and hustle out of the room. ASHTON flashes a look of anger across the room at a smiling BARTON, then hastily EXITS.

BARTON'S TABLE

ROGER drinks down the last of his victory drink, throws down a ten, stands and EXITS.

EXT. PECAR CLUB -- DAY

A taxi pulls up in front of the club. ASHTON climbs in and roars off. BARTON ENTERS the frame. He looks after ASHTON, then calmly starts walking down the street.

EXT. GREEN LAWN CEMETERY -- DAY

A car pulls up. BARTON climbs up. He calmly crosses the street and ducks behind the thick entrance archway pillars as ASHTON'S car roars through.

ROGER
(to himself)
Thought you would come here.

BARTON starts to walk up the hill...

CUT TO:

EXT. GRAVE SITE -- DAY

LONG SHOT

A hearse and a line of black limos are parked in the lane. Nearby MARTY the BOUNCER's funeral is in progress. Clustered around a grave site are the mourners... ANIMATED characters of all stripes, there's a large biker type BULLDOG hugging another STRIPPER BUNNY, TWO SCRUFFY ALLEY CATS, TWO RATS and TWO CROWS wearing leather. The eulogy is being delivered by a large CHICKEN with a southern accent.

SOUTHERN CHICKEN
Today, we stand here to remember the life of brother Marty, as we commit him back to the cold...cold earth. We shed no tears, knowing that Marty would have wanted it that way.

ANIMATED GUESTS
(in unison)
Hell ya.

ANGLE ON BARTON

As he leans against a tree on the hill. We have been watching the proceedings from his P.o.v. Now he see's ASHTON'S car pull up. He moves around to the other side of the tree as ASHTON passes and starts wading through the crowd.

AT THE GRAVE SITE

The MINISTER, a fat man nods to the funeral director, a pasty faced man. The DIRECTOR starts to turn the crank, lowering the coffin into the hole.

MNISTER
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

The biker type guests turn and head away from the grave and begin to head away. One mourner is left at the grave site.

REVEAL HALEY, sitting in a chair dabbing her eyes with a napkin. ASHTON walks up from behind her.

ASHTON
Trying to screw me over, huh?

HALEY turns, startled. She stands and faces ASHTON.

BARTON

Smiles and leans in. This is the moment he's been waiting for. Now, just as the conversation begins, it is drowned out by a GARDENER with a weed wacker. ROGER turns to see a kid trimming around a nearby grave marker. ROGER tries to get his attention as he keeps one eye on ASHTON and HALEY having an argument. There's finger pointing and angry faces. ASHTON gestures into his pocket at a folded set of documents.

HALEY tries to leave. ASHTON grabs her arm. They're screaming at each other, but we don't hear a word. BARTON tries in vain to get the kid to turn off the lawn trimmer but he is wearing head phones. ROGER turns in time to see HALEY kick ASHTON in the groin and stomp off to a red Corvette. She jumps in and speeds away as ASHTON staggers back to his car. The GARDENER shuts off his lawn trimmer and walks over to ROGER.

GARDENER
You say something buddy?

ROGER
(annoyed)
Forget it. Thanks.

EXT. QUILL CLUB-ALLEY -- NIGHT

A moving truck is parked next to the door. Two HUSKY MOVERS are moving large audio speakers and other equipment into the club. A third mover with his hat pulled down over his face and collar up approaches the truck and removes a box speaker and holds it so that it hides his face from view.

INT. QUILL CLUB-BACKSTAGE -- MOMENTS LATER

The mover carries the speaker over to the wall to where the rest of the equipment is, his back is to the camera. The first MOVER ENTERS.

MOVER #1
Hey get a move on, we have to get this equipment moved in an hour. The show must go on.

As the first MOVER EXITS through the door, MOVE IN on the mover hidden from view, as he raises his hat to REVEAL...

RILEY, looks toward the door leading to the back stage area, but then he hears FOOTSTEPS approaching. He ducks into a nearby bathroom stall.

MOVER #1
(exasperated)
Where the hell is that guy, Christ I have to take a leak!

INT. BATHROOM --MOMENTS LATER

The MOVER ENTERS the bathroom and takes up the stall next to RILEY.

TIGHT

In on RILEY as he sits crouched on the toilet seat, listening as the MOVER makes SOUNDS of RELIEF as he urinates, a fact that causes RILEY to grimace as the smell gets to him. The MOVER finishes and EXITS, much to the relief of RILEY.

ANGLE ON RILEY

as the MOVER'S VOICE recedes to 'muffled grunting'. RILEY EXITS the stall and eases out of the bathroom over to Haley's dressing room. As he starts to open the door, he HEARS scuffling from inside. RILEY puts his ear to the door. More SCUFFLING. RILEY straightens, then suddenly whips the door open and flicks on the light.

INT. DRESSING ROOM -- NIGHT

Nobodies there. Confused, RILEY CLOSES the door behind him and checks the bathroom. No one, he shrugs and starts to search the room. He goes to Haley's dressing table and rifles the drawers. In her purse he discovers a gun.

RILEY
What the hell does she have this for?

RILEY puts the gun back in the purse and closes the drawers. As he starts, he pauses, he sees a black and white gag photo in a frame of himself and Haley dressed like 'Bonny and Clyde' posed with machine gun props. RILEY smiles and turns from the table. Something catches his eye.

ANGLE ON THE FLOOR

behind the dressing table, the corner of a piece of blue paper peeks out. RILEY stoops down and fishes it out. It's a cover for a legal document- 'Land Deed-Quill Club'.

RILEY

Stands pleased. He opens the blue holder, and looks at it quickly. RILEY puts it in his jumper pocket and turns to go when suddenly an unseen hand flicks the light off.

RILEY
Son of a bitch!

We can't see anything in the darkness. But we HEAR the sound of fists hitting a face. There's a crashing of meal and falling items, crashing to the floor. Now the door opens for a second as the attacker escapes. Lights flood the room, illuminating RILEY on the floor, bruised and bloodied, covered in debris. As he struggles to his feet the door closes. The room is dark again. When he whips it open,

REVEAL

ASHTON framed in the doorway. RILEY is frozen. ASHTON flicks in the light and smiles wickedly.

ASHTON
The prodigal son returns...to meet his maker.

RILEY tries to make a break for it. Wham! ASHTON lays him out with a right cross.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

P.O.V. FROM THE FLOOR ---LATER

As his vision comes into focus, RILEY sees ASHTON, HALEY, the dead BOUNCER, the GROUP OF WEASELS and DEATH.

DEATH
Being caught breaking and entering is not very good. What where you looking for Mister Jacobson?

RILEY
Ask her.

RILEY nods toward HALEY, who stands coolly.

HALEY
What can I say, he wants me back.

RILEY
Look Haley, I still like you, but I'm not some nut who would stock you. I was looking for this

RILEY starts to remove the paperwork from his pocket, but DEATH stops him.

DEATH
Hold it there..I'll get that if you don't mind.

DEATH reaches into RILEY'S pocket and takes out the deed and looks at it with interest.

DEATH
Interesting, by the looks of this Marty was set to take over ownership of the club.

RILEY
Right, and Ashton there didn't like it so he killed him and had me set up to take the fall.

ASHTON
I think your drunk, Riley. That's one hell of a story.

DEATH
These are serious accusations, Mister Jacobson, do you have any proof?

RILEY
I was given a tape of those two together, arguing, I have it right here...

RILEY points with one hand at HALEY and ASHTON while he reaches into his pocket. But the tape is missing.

RILEY
It's gone they must have taken it.

DEATH
They?

RILEY
Ashton, after he knocked my lights out.

DEATH
I think you need to come with me downtown.

RILEY
Great, then maybe you will believe me.

INT. HEATH'S CAR -- NIGHT

DETECTIVE HEATH looks over his shoulder at a groggy RILEY, who looks up from his prone position with concern.

HEATH
What's wrong nervous? Don't worry, if your stories true, your clear, if not...

HEATH lets out a sinister cackle, just as a clap of thunder explodes from ahead, over the approaching prison.

EXT. NEARING THE PRISON -- CONTINUOUS

The car disappears into the dark tunnel leading into the prison underground. PAN UP to the stormy night sky.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THE SKY -- MORNING

PAN DOWN to the tunnel. We can't see into the darkness, but we hear screaming coming from within. Whips cracking, bones crunching, all accompanied by the laughter of DEATH.

DEATH
Pull the ropes tighter! Give him another!

The SOUND of the ratchet tightening on a medieval rack is heard followed by another lash from the whip.

DEATH
Let him go boys, I think he's had enough.

After a beat, HARRY comes staggering out of the tunnel. His clothes are ripped to shreds, bruises cover his face. He trips and falls by the side of the road. HARRY lies their for a moment, catching his breath, cursing. HE gets to his feet and stumbles down the road.

INT. BUS -- DAY

RILEY steps aboard. The driver does a double take when he sees the condition of RILEY, clothes torn, bruised and bloodied.

BUS DRIVER
(from previous)
What happened to you?

RILEY
I spent the night in jail, they worked me over.

BUS DRIVER
I'll say, why did they do that to you?

RILEY
Don't know, I told them all they wanted.

BUS DRIVER
You should go to the hospital and have them check you out.

RILEY
No, I'll be fine.

BUS DRIVER
Okay, just trying to help, have a seat.

RILEY tries to hide his face as he walks down the aisle past a gauntlet of starring passengers. Finally he finds a seat in the back as the pulls away from the stop.

A LITTLE KID

Is sitting a few seats away with his mother. The kid looks back at RILEY and laughs. He leans over and whispers to his mom.

KID
Is that guy drunk?

MOTHER
Probably, don't talk to him.

RILEY
(under his breath)
Not as drunk as your dad was the night he conceived you. Little brat.

RILEY stands and scowls as he EXITS the bus as it comes to a stop outside his apartment.

INT. RILEY'S APARTMENT-BATHROOM -- DAY

We HEAR the sound of the shower. RILEY reaches for a bottle of booze, takes a swig and sticks his head under the shower head.

RILEY
(grimacing)
Ah...shit.

CLOSE-TUB DRAIN

The water swirling down the drain is tinged with blood.

CLOSE- RILEY

He pours some of the booze onto a cut, using it as a disinfectant. He uses a cloth to wipe off any of the remaining blood from his arm. The alcohol seems to bring him some relief. He shuts off the shower and slides the curtain back.

RILEY'S P.O.V.-HALEY

Is leaning up against the door jam, dressed in a revealing low cut top.

HALEY
Hello, Riley. I knocked on the door, but I guess you couldn't hear me.

RILEY
(grabbing for a towel)
Christ, knock louder then!

HALEY
Relax, I've seen it remember.

RILEY
(embarrassed)
What do you want!

HALEY
Just a little something from you. Which is all you where able to give.

RILEY
Look, as you can see, I'm not in the mood for your crap, now what do you want you lying bitch!

HALEY
You've got it wrong about me. I got used, just like you did. That's why I came to talk.

RILEY
Sure, I bet you do. Why me? What's the scam.

HALEY
(pleading)
No, Riley, I still love you, no scam.

RILEY
(unswayed)
Oh sure. Love? You where never the loving wife. I don't think your capable of love.

HALEY
Oh please, all you wanted was Betty Crocker in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.

RILEY
(argumentative)
And what did mister muscle head want from you?

HALEY
(taken back)
Nothing!, I mean he was just...a...

RILEY
(growing upset)
A quickie is that why you had him killed? You had too many guys on the go, all you where using. You couldn't keep your lies straight anymore! Is that what happened Haley? So then you had to have him killed? But why frame me? What did I ever do to you?

HALEY takes a cigarette out of a packet from her rear pocket. She lights it and blows a cloud of smoke. We PAN UP as the smoke narrates her side of the story in a flashback.

ASHTON AND HALEY are in a heated discussion at the grave site. This is the conversation we couldn't hear because of the lawn trimmer.

HALEY
Ashton came to me and told me he'd fire you if I didn't sleep with him. It was nothing, I didn't want to see you hurt. I know how much that job meant to you.

RILEY waves his hand dispelling the smoke.

RILEY
(annoyed)
Could you put that damn thing out.

HALEY
Sorry, so you see, I'm telling you the truth I got him off. That's all, but I didn't have anything to do with the murder.

RILEY
I wish I could believe you Haley. I don't know what you're up to, but I'm going to nail who ever is responsible for the murder and clear my name...even if that's you.

HALEY
Fine, what's stopping you from calling the cops on me now?

RILEY
I tried that and they threw me in a cell with a bunch of bikers. They where probably customers of yours.

HALEY
I'm sorry for what happened to you, but I had nothing to do with it. Look Riley, I came here to ask for your help, that's all.

HALEY comes to RILEY and hugs him, burying her head in his shoulder.

HALEY
(pleading)
Please, Riley, find it in your heart to forgive me and help me.

RILEY looks down at HALEY in his arms, considering the request. The moment is interrupted by the CLEARING OF A THROAT.

DANA
You that desperate, Riley?

RILEY, still in a towel, shocked and embarrassed turns his face to DANA, who's standing in the doorway.

RILEY
Dana! What the hell is this, grand central!

DANA regards HALEY with undisguised contempt.

DANA
(sarcastically)
Lemme' guess...she was short of dollar bills?

HALEY straightens up.

HALEY
Maybe I should go.

DANA
(even more sarcastic)
Really, you think?

HALEY
Goodbye, Riley...please I'm sorry.

HALEY kisses RILEY on the cheek. She saunters past the angry DANA and out the door. DANA walks to RILEY and hands him the pair of jeans hanging from a hook on the back of the door.

DANA
What was that?

RILEY
Haley was just here to tell me her side of the story.

DANA
(shocked)
And you believed her?

RILEY
I don't know, maybe she was just looking to stick the knife in deeper.

DANA
I just stopped by to tell you that I checked out that Quill Club probate.

RILEY
Ashton right?

DANA
Nope. Try Merrick.

RILEY
(startled)
What the hell would Haley's dad want with a strip club?

DANA
Got me. But unless you figure some way to stop him by Friday, you can kiss your ass goodbye.

As RILEY considers the new development, he cocks his ear. In the distance, we hear faint singing.

RILEY
What is that?

DANA
(listens)
It's coming from the bar, is that someone singing?

RILEY
Oh, no...

As RILEY grabs his pants...

CUT TO:

INT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR -- MOMENTS LATER

HALEY is using the small stage in the corner of the bar as a test for her new career in legitimate singing. A few patrons sitting at the bar, look on attentively.

HALEY
(singing)
It had to be. It had to be you. I wondered around...

The men of the bar start to CLAP.

HALEY
(continuing)
...and finally found somebody who could make me be true. Could make me blue.

The DOOR OPENS.

RILEY and DANA ENTER. RILEY stops in his tracks at the sight of HALEY'S performance... and the smiles on the faces of the men of the bar. HALEY gets to the melody of the Billy Holiday classic.

HALEY
...or even be glad. Just to be sad thinking of you. Some others, I've seen, might never be mean. Might never be cross, or try to be boss, but they wouldn't do. For nobody else gave me a thrill...

CLOSE- HALEY

Notices RILEY. Steps off the stage and looks directly into his eyes as she finishes the song.

HALEY
With all faults I love you still, it had to be you, wonderful you. It had to be...you.

HALEY puts down the microphone into the stage and starts her way over to a stunned RILEY and DANA.

All the regulars on the bar start clapping. As HALEY grabs RILEY'S hand and starts to lead him towards the back room. DANA confused decides to go with the flow, shrugs and joins in on the clapping. HALEY turns to the regulars and acknowledges them with a playful blowing of a kiss. The regulars eat it up and clap louder. RILEY flings HALEY around in embrace, picking her off her feet into the air.

HALEY
So does this mean you believe me?

RILEY
Your crazy, but ~I love you. When did this start?

HALEY
This is my new calling, I don't want to strip all my life. I've been taking singing lessons since I was five. What do you think? Am I good?

RILEY
Good? Did you hear those stiffs? They haven't cracked a smile in years, you had them eating out of the palm of your hands.

HALEY
And I didn't have to take my clothes off, they like me, for me.

RILEY
As soon as we clear this mess up with the cops, you can work here, no more stripping.

HALEY
I like that, but first...

RILEY
We need to get out of here, this place isn't safe, the cops are still out for me.

RILEY grabs HALEY by the hand and opens the door. But ducks back in quickly.

P.O.V. RILEY'S- THROUGH THE DOOR-DETECTIVE HEATH -- CONTINUOUS

Has ENTERED the bar. He stands framed in the doorway, two more cops perched on either side of him. The red neon bar sign flashes on his glasses making him look as if his eyes are flaming red. With the cops at the door behind him, the perpetually angry HEATH walks to the bar, his footsteps creaking on the worn wooden floor. He surveys the scene, leans on the bar and glares at DANA.

HEATH
I'm looking for Riley Jacobson. I know he's here.

The barflies try to avoid HEATH'S stare and SHOOT glances towards one another. HEATH glares at the guy to his right.

HEATH
Have you seen him buddy?

The SMALL MAN shrugs nervously and RUNS from the bar. The rest of the bar gets eerily quiet.

DANA
He's not here, so quit harassing my customers.

HEATH TURNS to DANA.

HEATH
I didn't come here to harass. I came to offer a reward to anyone who has evidence.

DANA
You already arrested him, I saw what you did to him, if you had something on him, you wouldn't have let him go.

HEATH
So, you do know where he is?

DANA
I didn't say that, now leave!

HEATH walks to the menu board beside DANA. On it, is written: "Today's Special Fried Chicken Strips with Dip $5.00" HEATH washes the "Fried" and the decimal point after the "five". Then he picks up the chalk and starts to write. The chalk squeaks annoyingly on the board. DANA looks on annoyed as HEATH writes, "Burnt" where "Fried" was and adds "Riley" before "Chicken" and replaces the "S" in "Strips" with "PER" making it say: "Stripper" and adding "Shit" after "Dip" and then "$5.00" now reads "$5000".

AT THE BAR-ALL EYES

Are fixed on the figure on the blackboard. A WISE ASS raises his hand.

WISE ASS
Hey cop, I see Riley...

The WISE ASS looks defensively at his buddies and then back to HEATH.

WISE ASS
He's right here in the bar.

But instead of pointing to the back, he points to the barstool next to him.

WISE ASS
Sat hello, Riley, see Riley is invisible, get it pig.

The tension is broke. Everybody in the bar starts laughing.

INT. BACK ROOM

HALEY turns to RILEY victoriously.

HALEY
You have friends here, it's going to be okay.

INT. THE BAR

HEATH stares down the regulars until the laughter stops. Meanwhile a cop starts searching around the stage where HALEY was singing. As HEATH turns to leave, the COP whispers in his ear, as he points to the back. HEATH smiles and taps the COP on the shoulder. He TURNS to the WISE ASS and the others.

HEATH
Now, it's my turn to laugh...get him out of here.

HEATH waves for his COP cronies to arrest the SMART ASS. The COPS ENTER and hook the man under each arm and lift him off the stool and escort him from the bar, furiously defiant.

TWO more COPS ENTER and flank HEATH as he strides through the bar to the back room. HEATH rips the door open.

INT. BACK ROOM

It's dark. HEATH flicks on the light. REVEAL HALEY standing behind a makeshift changing screen. She looks out at HEATH angrily as if he has caught her changing.

HALEY
What the fuck do you want, pervert!

HEATH
(embarrassed)
Nothing... I mean I'm looking for Riley.

HALEY acts as if she's trying to cover up.

HALEY
Riley? What would he be doing here? Now get lost, I'm trying to get changed, I've got another set to do.

HEATH
Another set? This ain't the strip club, girl, look tell us where Riley is hiding and we won't arrest you.

HALEY
I don't know where he is, honest!

HEATH walks over to a stack of boxes in the corner of the room.

HEATH
Not here? Really?

HEATH takes out his truncheon and swings madly at the stack of cleaning supplies, breaking open the containers of kitchen cleanser sending the powder flying everywhere.

DOWN BESIDE HALEY

RILEY is crowded into a ball, facing the boxes, but hidden from view by the makeshift screen. The CLOUD of POWDER covers RILEY'S face causing him to choke violently.

HEATH smiles and rips the sheet down to REVEAL HALEY standing in her bra with RILEY on the floor gagging from the powder that is covering his face. HEATH hovers over him with an evil grin.

HEATH
What's wrong RILEY, you look a little ill.

RILEY
Shit.

HEATH
You got that right and you are in a heap of it. Pick him up and bring her too.

HEATH EXITS the small room, looking disgusted as he brushes off some powder off his neatly pressed suit and overcoat. The TWO COPS lead RILEY and HALEY out of the bar.

INT. COURTROOM

DEATH strides confidently into the courtroom.

PIG BALIFF
Oink...oink...court is now in session.

HALEY BUNNY and HARRY are led out by a couple of PIT BULL COPS. As DEATH raps his gavel, the TWELVE PIRATES pop up in the jury box. A WEASEL lawyer snaps open his briefcase. An assorted GALLERY of RODENTS and LIZARDS look on intently.

DEATH
Harry Monkey is charged with the cold blooded murder of Marty Belcher. The jury will now direct their attention to exhibits A, B and C.

The WEASEL LAWYER displays photographs of HALEY BUNNY and MARTY in embrace, a blow up of one of the photographs in which devils horns are drawn on two and the words "die bitch die" and a forensics photograph of the dead body.

DEATH
Motive and evidence, how do you find the defendant?

Once again the PIRATES raise their beer mugs and in UNISON chant "A-a-r-r-g! Guilty"

DEATH
Guilty as charged. Case closed.

Death raps his gavel. The weasel slams his briefcase shut. Now two pig bailiffs wheel in the dunk tank. Death walks over to Harry.

DEATH
For this heinous crime, I sentence you to the tank!

HARRY
No, no! You can't take me, I didn't do it!

HALEY
I'm sorry Harry, I tried to tell them.

DEATH
For you Haley, for aiding and abetting, you are sentenced to spend eternity in hells kitchen entertaining the scourge of society. Forever!

DEATH CACKLES.

HALEY
Hey, doesn't Harry at least get a chance to defend himself?

HARRY
Can I get a second opinion? How about a drink at least?

DEATH
Why not? This case marks the end of my glorious career. I'm retiring and I just saved a bundle on my car insurance.

HALEY
Yeah? Well don't let the door hit you in the ass, you might break the mayors glasses!

DEATH pours a glass of whisky, filling it the brim and gives it to HARRY.

HALEY
Here you go baby, say hi to Steve for me, I miss the little guy.

HARRY
(confused)
But Haley you hated...

HALEY
Christ then I'll drink it!

HALEY grabs the drink and takes out a lighter and set the drink on fire and throws it at DEATH as if it was a molotov cocktail.

The drink hits DEATH exploding in a ball of fire. The judges bench, the bailiffs, the jurors, everything goes up in flames.

HALEY uses the distraction to punch the PIGS holding HARRY and then grabs him by the hand.

VARIOUS GALLERY animals join in on the action. A LIZARD whacks the WEASEL LAWYER in the back of the head with a chair.

A SNAKE crawls behind DEATH who's blinded by the fire and wraps himself around him and begins to squeeze.

TWO RATS gnaw on DEATHS ankles until he falls over, they start to dance on his head.

The LIZARD is now giving the WEASEL head buts like a pro- wrestler.

Finally DEATH wrestles his mouth free from the coiled snake.

DEATH
Get them!

As more PIG COPS ENTER the court room, HALEY BUNNY tips the tank over sending the water spilling toward them. The PIGS recoil from the water. Even DEATH cowers.

EXT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR -- DAY

HALEY and RILEY race down the street from the bar, toward HALEY'S pink Corvette.

RILEY
I don't the good old detective will be able to screw anyone over for a while.

HALEY
He won't be screwing for a while period.

HALEY opens the door of the car and slips over to the passengers side to let RILEY in.

INT. HALEY'S CAR

LEY goes to start the car, but the key is gone. Now from behind them comes the sound of a unique sports car, coming to a stop. A well dressed women leans out and directs herself to hALEY. She is a friend and fellow stripper named DAISY.

DAISY
Need some help Haley?

EXT. HALEY'S CAR

HALEY sighs with relief and jumps out of the car, RILEY in tow. HALEY, excitedly returns a reply to DAISY'S query.

HALEY
Hell ya! Nice timing as usual Daisy.

DAISY
Where you been, girl!

RILEY frantically looking around approaches behind HALEY.

RILEY
Girls, please, can we catch up on old times later?

EXT. PASSENGER SIDE OF DAISY'S CAR

HALEY and RILEY quickly jump into the car which is a rear engine mounted two seat model, which forces RILEY to lie prone into the space behind the front seats. HALEY jumps into the passenger seat hard, knocking RILEY in the head with the seat. DAISY leans over and hugs HALEY.

RILEY
Can we hurry, this isn't comfortable.

DAISY
Sorry.

The car zips away in a spray of sparks. The horn blares to the tune of the "William Tell Overture"

ANGLE ON TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR-THE COPS

come piling out. They search every direction. Detective HEATH comes out holding his crotch still in agony. He spots HALEY and RILEY in the convertible. The COPS and HEATH make a mad dash for their cars.

HALEY

Admires the sleek car with all it's leather interior and flashy sound system.

HALEY
When did you get this baby?

DAISY screams over the scream of the engine.

DAISY
A couple of months ago, business has been great! She's quick too, hang on!

With a ferocious up shift and a roar of the engine the car speeds up, prompting RILEY to let out an uncomfortable scream as he bounces around in the hole behind the seat. His feet bounce over the side of the car.

INT. HEATH'S CAR

Lagging badly behind. It's followed by a squad car, both with sirens blaring. HEATH turns to a UNIFORMED OFFICER in the passenger seat.

HEATH
What the hell do they have in that car?

UNIFORMED OFFICER
A three fifty turbo with a four barreled carburetor and nitrous oxide. Sir.

HEATH
I meant that rhetorically, dumb ass. Shut up.

UNIFORMED OFFICER
Yes sir.

EXT. STREET

HEATH'S town car makes a horrible sound as it hits its maximum RPM. The second squad car passes HEATH in a burst if speed.

HEATH
(dismayed)
Even the squad cars are faster than this Swedish piece of crap.

INT. DAISY'S CAR

Rockets down the street. DAISY takes a turn so wide she barely misses a hot dog cart as she drives over the curb onto the sidewalk.

HEATH'S CAR

The squad car isn't so lucky. It crashes into the cart, just after the vendor has enough time to bail out of the way. The collision causes the cart to explode in a shower of condiments, water and hot dogs all over the hood and windshield of the cruiser.

DAISY'S CAR

DAISY, HALEY and RILEY peeking up from the rear look back over their shoulder, laughing at the predicament of the cop.

HALEY
(with a whoop)
Now that's what I call giving it a little mustard!

Up ahead a delivery truck is double parked in an alleyway with only a small portion of the road clear. DAISY weaves around it just as they are about to crash into it.

HEATH'S CAR

Is much bigger. It tries to weave around the truck but smashes into the back, causing a television to fall off the back and come crashing down onto the hood.

RILEY

Looking back,

RILEY
Now that's what ~I call a close up, FYI Heath!

HALEY
Where did you learn to drive like that?

DAISY
I dated a race car driver once, he showed me how to drive, I showed him a few moves of my own.

RILEY
Figures.

DAISY weaves through traffic, scooting between cars. Two motorcycle cops join in on the chase. Up ahead traffic is stopped for a red light. With no where to go, DAISY guns it.

DAISY
Oh shit, hold on!

HALEY sucks back into her seat as DAISY'S car is nearly side swiped by two cars passing in rear and front of them.

WIDE SHOT

When DAISY clears the intersection we see the carnage left in the intersection, two cars have stopped in the middle, blocking a row of traffic from the opposite direction. The PEDESTRIAN'S yell obscenities.

BEHIND THEM

The crippled, HEATH car free of its encounter with the delivery truck, has a large dent in the hood. The front cover from the television hangs around the areal.

FROM THE AIR

We SEE a police helicopter flying after the fugitives, who's car is speeding along a tree lined street. Two COPS on the street string out a spike strip.

DAISY

Swerves right crashing over the embankment, now she swerves back left to avoid the half deployed spike strip, but one spike catches a tire, causing a loud explosion.

RILEY
What the hell was that!

DAISY
They blew out a tire, with a spike strip, no problem, I've still got three. Hey Riley, there should be some flares back their, hand them up.

RILEY
What! What the hell are you going to do with fares?!

DAISY
(coyly)
You'll see.

RILEY passes up th flares to HALEY who looks on in confusion.

DAISY
Light it and hand it to me.

HALEY
What!

DAISY
Do it now!

HALEY, scared, snaps the tip of the flare causing it to light in a sea of flame and smoke. She hands it to DAISY gingerly as if she expects it to explode.

FROM A CROSS STREET

The TWO MOTORCYCLE COPS approach as DAISY screams through the intersection. At the last second, DAISY flips the flare out of the car.

THE FLARE

Spins in slow motion through the air, finally landing in the lap of the approaching MOTORCYCLE COP. The cop swerves into a ditch of stagnated water.

When the smoke clears we SEE the MOTORCYCLE COP being helped out of the ditch by his partner, the bike is destroyed.

EXT. WINDING STREET

DAISY is leading a convoy of POLICE VEHICLES up and down the hills. Beside two more MOTORCYCLES, there are half a dozen squad cars.

But as DAISY comes over the last crest, we SEE the road dead ends into a lake. The POLICE have blocked off the street from all directions with squad cars. HALEY and a scared RILEY see the dead end approaching fast. RILEY ducks back down behind the seats, HALEY covers her head, bracing for impact.

DAISY
Hope the brakes still work!

DAISY hits the breaks. Smoke pours from the damaged front tire as they burn up, their speed is barely broken.

HALEY
Oh sh-i-te!

The car smashes through the wooden novelty fence surrounding a park picnic area and sails into the lake. The car comes to a sudden stop.

THE POLICE CARS

Screech to a stop at the edge of the lake. HEATH jumps out and yells out to the fugitives in the car. He turns to the other COPS with a smirk, when he turns back again, the smirk disappears from his face.

ANGLE ON THE LAKE

HALEY and RILEY watch terrified as the water starts to rise up along the sides of the convertible.

HALEY
We're going to die!

DAISY
Relax, watch this.

THE CAR

DAISY flicks a switch on the dashboard, the wheels rise up and a jet ski nozzle drops from the undercarriage of the car. The rear mounted outboard intake starts up on the hybrid water car with a roar. The TRIO start off across the lake.

They head in the direction of a party boat anchored a few meters out. The GUESTS on the small craft look on with open mouths.

THE PARTY BOAT

The three fugitives pull upside the boat. They are greeted with a wave of cheering from the mostly teen party goers. One throws down a can of beer to RILEY, who catches it, pops the top and drinks it down in one gulp as he shakes from a combination of cold and nerves.

PARTY TEEN
That car is the shit man!

DAISY'S CAR

RILEY still shaking down the last of the beer.

RILEY
Ya, cool car, now can it get us out of here?

DAISY
No problem.

DAISY smiles as she slams the gear shift throttle control into high gear, causing the car to jump out of the water and RILEY to ll back into his hole and hit his head again.

CUT TO:

EXT. ALLEY -- EARLY EVENING

DAISY peeks around the corner, then tip toes into view, RILEY then HALEY follow down the alley until they stop in front of a back door.

HALEY
Thanks, Daisy.

DAISY
If you ever need me, just whistle.

HALEY
Will do, keep your nose clean.

DAISY
You two, nice to meet you Riley, thanks for the tire.

RILEY
Same here. No problem, anytime.

DAISY waves and disappears back around the corner. The SOUND of her car peeling out is heard. The RILEY goes to the door and unlocks it. As he and HALEY head up the stairs...

CUT TO:

INT. BUILDING-CLOSE-DOORWAY

A hand painted design on the glass shows a winged horse. The lettering around it says "Jacobson and Son Animation"

RILEY sticks his key in the door and unlocks it. HALEY studies the banner.

HALEY
And son?

RILEY
My dad. Get inside.

He ushers HALEY into the office.

INT. OFFICE

It's a small office with a drafting table, small couch and a window. Behind the table is two stools. RILEY closes the door and locks it.

HALEY
Your dad was a cartoonist?

RILEY
One of the best back in the sixties. He was master of the nine panel strip. His Penny the Loafer strip was one of the best.

HALEY
What happened to it?

RILEY
Ashton stole the idea before my dad could copy write it. He changed the name and sold it to a rival. Left my dad broke.

HALEY
At least you are keeping his name alive.

RILEY
And Ashton is doing what he did to my dad all over again to me. He's going to leave me penniless.

HALEY
Don't talk like that, no he won't. Lets get some rest.

RILEY
Sure, we can't do anything until morning anyway.

RILEY moves a stack of animations off the couch and lies down, HALEY slides beside him.

CLOSE UP- RILEY

The problems of the day weigh heavily on his brow. Finally his eyes close. After a beat, we HEAR RILEY snoring. It's loud HALEY'S eyes pop open. She rolls over and pulls the small pillow from under RILEY'S head and puts it over her head, trying to drown out the infernal sound.

RILEY- sits up.

RILEY
What's wrong?

HALEY playfully throws the pillow back at RILEY and closes her eyes. RILEY shakes his head and lies back down and closes his eyes.

We PAN UP off his face and past the window where the sun is setting. As the CAMERA moves along the wall we see a gallery of framed newspaper clippings. "Willie Jacobson newest kid on the animation block" and "Penny the Loafer walks all over the competition" and "Penny creator uses good old common sense". The PAN CONTINUES until we get to the window again. Now it's dark outside.

MOVE DOWN to RILEY'S sleeping face. He stirs, then opens one eye. Now they both pop open.

RILEY'S P.O.V.

HALEY'S eyes are wide open as well.

RILEY
What's wrong?

HALEY
Just looking around, wondering what happened. What made you so dark and embittered?

RILEY
I never told this to anyone, but I think Ashton killed my father.

HALEY
What makes you believe that Ashton's a killer?

RILEY
Ashton hated my dad.

HALEY
Ashton's rude, vile and disgusting but that doesn't make him a killer. What proof do you have?

RILEY
After my dad died, I was going through some of his stuff and I found a taped to the back of the safe in my dads office a letter from Ashton addressed to my dad. He was blackmailing my dad for the rights it the Penny strip. Ashton was threatening to expose an affair my dad had ten years earlier, that would have destroyed my mother.

HALEY
Why didn't your dad take it to the cops?

RILEY
He couldn't. He knew Ashton had his mob buddies watching his every move. If he went to the cops Ashton would have had my dad killed. So, he did the only thing he could do.

HALEY
Give control of his work to Ashton.

RILEY
Dad's career was over at that point, he couldn't take it, so he shot himself in the head. Ashton never even came to the funeral.

RILEY'S- Cell phone rings

HALEY
Who's that?

RILEY
Don't know, yet.

The phone rings two more times and stops.

HALEY
Wrong number?

RILEY
No,

RILEY answers the phone.

RILEY
Dana?

INTERCUT:

INT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR

DANA, on the phone.

DANA
Your there good. Barton's been looking for you. He says he needs to talk to you tonight. He says he can help you.

RILEY
I bet. Straight to jail you mean.

DANA
Give him a call Riley, you can trust him.

RILEY
What have I got to lose? Keep it cool Dana.

DANA
I will, I'm closed for a couple of weeks for renovations, when I reopen I'll be looking for a new house singer, know one?

RILEY
Sounds great, I'll tell her. When this things over, we'll all get together. How does that sound?

DANA
Be careful Riley.

DANA hangs up the phone.

INTERCUT:

INT. OFFICE- RILEY

He clicks off the phone and dials.

RILEY
Barton? What do you want?

ROGER
(on the phone)
I can help you put Ashton away.

RILEY
I'm listening.

ROGER
(on the phone)
Meet me at my office at ten o'clock. If you know what I think you do we can stop Ashton for good.

RILEY
Know what?

CLICK. BARTON hangs up. RILEY clicks off his cell phone and goes to a small safe. He spins the combination.

HALEY
Do you think you can trust BARTON?, He's been Ashton's right hand man for years.

RILEY
I have to, I've got nothing to lose. I have to stop Ashton before he does what he did to my father to me.

HALEY
I'm coming with you.

RILEY
Forget it. This could get messy.

RILEY reaches into the safe for a black .22 caliber hand gun. He checks the clip. Then he takes out a box about 8"x12". He closes the safe, puts the gun into his waist band and puts his shirt over it, then the box into a bag.

HALEY
I can handle myself Riley, let me come.

RILEY
No Haley, if Ashton shows up, I don't want you to get hurt.

RILEY goes to the door, pauses.

RILEY
If I don't come back by midnight...

HALEY
Don't say it.

RILEY
Listen to me, if I'm not back by midnight, go to the Valhalla Room in Queens.

RILEY closes the door, leaving HALEY alone. She paces back and forth.

HALEY
(out loud)
The Valhalla? Why that crap hole?

EXT. BAR-GOON STUDIO -- NIGHT

The building is deserted. Now a headlight cuts through the darkness. BARTON'S car pulls up in front of the building.

INT. BARTON'S CAR

ROGER reaches over and opens the glove compartment and takes out a small semi-automatic handgun. As he gets out of the car we SEE the clock on the dash says 9:55.

INT. BARTON'S OFFICE-OUTSIDE

BARTON ENTER'S from the fire stairs and hustles up to his office door. He looks nervously over his shoulder, then goes inside.

INT. BARTON'S OFFICE

ROGER switches on a small table lamp. He goes to his desk and takes out the gun and puts it in the left hand drawer. He then opens the right hand drawer and removes a sixteen ounce bottle of whisky, half full. As he removes the cap and starts to take a drink with his shaky hand, another hand comes into frame.

RILEY
Don't waist the good stuff Barton.

BARTON jumps back as RILEY steps from the darkness holding the bag with the box in it.

ROGER
Shit! Riley!

RILEY
Sorry I had to make sure it wasn't a trap.

RILEY takes the bottle from BARTON and takes a drink. BARTON goes and sits down in his chair. He looks to the gun in the hiding place. RILEY walks around the desk and leans over BARTON placing his hand on the drawer.

RILEY
You're too stupid to be a killer.

ROGER
Your right. I'm not a killer.

RILEY
But you make a great lackey.

ROGER
No, you have to understand, Riley, I had nothing to do with that bouncer getting killed. I just wanted to get Ashton off my back, so I went along with his plan to get rid of Haley's boyfriend. That was the only way her dad would buy Bar-goons. We needed his money or the studio would close.

BARTON gets up from his chair, highly agitated.

ROGER
It embarrassed Merrick to have her daughter dating a bouncer of a strip club. But then it all went to hell. I've been doing this job all my life. I can't sit around and watch it all be destroyed.

BARTON eyes RILEY'S bag.

ROGER
You got what I asked for, the deed.

RILEY
No, I don't.

ROGER
What the hell are you trying to pull Riley?

RILEY
Take it easy.

ROGER
There's no time to take it easy! You don't realize how sick Ashton is!

ANGLE ON WINDOW

a SNIPERS RIFLE is poised set to fire from an open window across the street.

ROGER
If you don't have the deed by midnight, we can all kiss our asses...

RILEY

Sees a reflection of a snipers scope in the glass of a framed cartoon poster on the wall. He turns. But it's too late! The SOUND off a silenced bullet followed by broken glass. BARTON crumples, caught in mid sentence. RILEY dives behind the desk and draws his gun. He looks over at ROGER's dead body on the floor.

RILEY
(under his breath)
I ain't kissing anything.

RILEY crawls to the window where the shots came from. He looks out.

RILEY'S P.O.V

The silhouette of HALEY runs to he car, jumps in and roars off.

RILEY

Grabs the bag, runs out of the office and heads down the fire exit stairs.

EXT. OUTSIDE BAR-GOON'S -- NIGHT

RILEY jumps into Barton's car. He hits the gas and takes off after HALEY.

NEW ANGLE

As the car pulls away, the trunk lid lifts. HARRY peers out, disoriented, then closes it.

EXT. STREET -- NIGHT

HALEY'S Corvette speeds along. RILEY in close pursuit in BARTON'S car when HALEY'S car disappears into a tunnel.

RILEY

Slams on the brakes. The car goes fishtailing finally spinning to a stop at the foot of a "Quill Club" billboard.

RILEY gets out of the car irate. He looks down the tunnel. He paces back and forth at the tunnel mouth. He looks up at the billboard and the characture of Haley and suddenly smashes a road sig with his fist. It spins around and catches him in the back of the head. RILEY stumbles forward but catches himself.

Embarrassed and mad RILEY walks back to the car with purpose. He grabs the bag and puts it on the hood. He opens it and takes out the box.

CLOSE-BOX

As the box is opened, REVEAL his dads silver Smith and Wesson revolver.

RILEY

Takes the gun tucked into his pants and places on the hood of the car. Then picks up his dads gun and holds it respectfully. Then he clicks open the chamber to reveal a fully loaded clip of bullets. RILEY is obviously prepared for the worse.

RILEY
(to himself)
I've been drunk for the past five years, no more. It's time for Riley Jacobson to stand up and fight.

He cocks the hammer back. The gun is ready to fire a round. RILEY takes a half empty 16oz bottle of booze from his pocket and unscrews the cap with his teeth and pours the rest of the liquor on the ground. When it's drained, he tosses the bottle into the air and fires off the shot. It makes the sound like a cannon.

RILEY

Watches as the bullet shatters into tiny fragment that fall to the ground at his feet. RILEY tucks the gun into his belt, grabs the second gun off the hood and climbs back into the car. He puts it into gear and pulls into the tunnel.

IN THE TUNNEL-DRIVING

As RILEY drives toward a light at the other end of the tunnel, a song comes over the radio.

RADIO ANNOUNCER
Welcome to the oldies hour. Here's a favourite, love hurts.

The song starts "L-o-v-e H-u-r-t-s"...

RILEY punches the next preset button but to no avail. The song plays on the next station and then the next. Fed up he hits the off button.

RILEY
(annoyed)
Fucking stupid song!

RILEY emerges from the tunnel.

RILEY'S P.O.V

Through the wind shield we SEE we have arrived in a town straight out of the "American Gothic" painting. It's a beautiful sunny day. RILEY is now driving down a completely animated 'Norman Rockwell' painting. The trees and buildings bend inward as if to greet RILEY.

He looks to his left and SEES a huge wolf hood ornament on the front of an ANIMATED 1936 Rolls Royce. Then as the car starts to pass him he sees another wolf...then another...another...another...more wolves, sixteen in all, all in a pack along the full length of the enormous hood.

Finally Riley sees the driver, "Howling Wolf" We remember from the "Quill Club", he's wearing a pair of wrap around shades and flashes a diamond incrusted smile. An ANIMATED LAMB sits in the passenger seat. HOWLING WOLF flashes the middle finger and a grin.

HOWLING WOLF
Loo-ser

Now RILEY arrives past an ANIMATED BUILDING under construction. The construction company sports the name "BS Construction". The sign out front says: "Building for Our Future". RILEY looks up and before he can drive by, the building gets built floor by floor like an erector set in about two seconds, with accompanying sounds.

UP AHEAD the street is clear for blocks. Then suddenly cars pour out of all side streets at once, clogging the street. There is mad honking and aNIMATED ANIMALS yelling and screaming. RILEY shakes his head. He pulls over and parks and gets out.

RILEY pulls out his gun. Suddenly the street empties in the blink of an eye. Shutters close and doors lock. It's so quiet you can hear a pin drop, or in this case a crow bar smashing against something metal and then hitting the ground. RILEY whirls around, levelling his gun at the sound.

ANGLE ON THE CAR-HARRY

peeks out of the trunk of the car.

HARRY
Don't shoot, riley it's me!

RILEY lowers the gun as HARRY emerges.

RILEY
What the hell are you doing here!

HARRY
I followed you to Bargoons, I figured you could use my help. When I heard the shots, I dove for cover in the trunk. Then the lid closed and I got locked in.

RILEY shakes his head in disbelief.

RILEY
Remind me to never let you help me again.

RILEY heads across the street with HARRY in tow.

AROUND THE CORNER

Stops at a street sign. The names are written in a foreign language. Up to a directional arrow pointing down the street and finally a sign which says "Low Do Ho The Best Rabbit in Town". RILEY follows the arrow down the side street to a high rise building.

INT. HIGH RISE BUILDING

RILEY catches a glimpse of the ANIMATED HALEY darting into the elevators. He runs like a dog after her.

RILEY goes to the elevators and watches the floor indicator slowly going up until it reaches the fiftieth floor with a ding. A second elevator opens. RILEY steps in.

IN THE ELEVATOR

RILEY hits the fiftieth floor. The elevator takes off at a gut wrenching speed. RILEY is bounced around the car viciously. The doors open. He gathers himself and steps off the elevator.

NEW ANGLE

As the door opens we HEAR dark foreboding music, ala an old fifties mystery movie. We SEE...

A DARK CORRIDOR

Wearily RILEY walks down the hallway, gun drawn. There's a noise from behind him. RILEY turns around as a dead body falls out from an apartment landing at RILEY'S feet. A gangster VOICE like that of 'James Cagney' comes from behind RILEY.

GANGSTER VOICE
You dirty rat!

RILEY whips around to see an ANIMATED CAT perched on a RAT picking his teeth. RILEY kicks the cat. The cat scrambles for cover.

As RILEY continues on, we see...

HALEY BUNNY

Steps out of the shadows behind him and aims a gun at his back.

HALEY
Don't move, Riley.

RILEY turns around slowly to see HALEY'S gun pointed directly between his eyes.

RILEY
I always had a feeling it would end like this.

HALEY BUNNY fires. A cloud of smoke, when it clears, RILEY is still standing. We hear a crash behind RILEY as a large figure falls to the ground from an overhead air duct.

HALEY
I think I got him.

HALEY runs past RILEY to the figure. He follows bewildered.

ANGLE-ON THE GROUND

We SEE a large GORILLA ARM.

RILEY
Christ you killed Harry!

HALEY
That's not Harry. It's Marty. He faked his own death.

HALEY moves to the head and tugs on it, peeling off the latex face. Underneath is MARTY the BOUNCER. In his hand is a gun.

RILEY
Haley, I think I owe you an apology.

HALEY
Oh don't worry, you will be apologizing, a lot...for the rest of your life. But, that's going have to wait. Lets bail!

As they RUN down the fire exit steps...

CUT TO:

INT. BARTON'S CAR-HARRY

Is behind the wheel impatiently revving the engine. He accidentally puts the car into reverse at high speed.

AROUND THE CORNER

HALEY and RILEY come racing down the street.

HALEY
It was Death who helped Marty fake his death and then he pinned it on you.

RILEY
Why didn't you tell me?

HALEY
I didn't know if I could trust you.

RILEY
We're even, by the way, I got your ex-husband with me.

HALEY
(excited)
Where is he?

RILEY
He's right here in the...

The SOUND of a speeding car coming towards them and a scream.

RILEY
...car coming right, now.

He shakes his head.

INTERCUT TO:

THE CAR

Is reversing down the street towards them. Out of control HARRY slams through a fruit stand, produce all over the windshield. Unable to see. HARRY nearly hits a POODLE delivering newspapers. As the POODLE dives out of the way, HARRY waves to the dog.

HARRY
Hey, I've got a scoop for you kid.

INTERCUT TO:

RILEY AND HALEY

Who are now facing a squad of ten ANIMATED DOBERMAN COPS. They charge in a snarl of teeth and claws.

RILEY knocks HALEY to the ground. The dogs leap over them and go crashing into a pile of used toilets. One of the dogs comes INTO FRAME with a toilet seat hanging around his neck.

RILEY picks up a watermelon from a nearby stand and bowls it toward the ten dogs, knocking nine of them down. HALEY throws her purse at the remaining dog, knocking it over. HALEY and RILEY whoop as if they picked up the spare.

RILEY
How did you know about Death?

HALEY
Marty told me. Death was after the club, so he could shut it down. That's why he tricked him into helping him fake his own death. He promised him he would split the insurance money with him, if Death left the club alone

RILEY sees another DOBERMAN trying to attack. He wheels and punches him in the long snout. Sending the dog reeling with a whimper.

RILEY
How did he expect to make his return?

HALEY
He planed on getting plastic surgery and laying low until it heeled. In the meanwhile I was to run the club as it stated in his will

RILEY
But the will Death found was blank.

HALEY
I had the real will.

Now DOBERMAN'S are coming at them from every direction. RILEY aims his gun at a tanker rolling their way. But when he pulls the trigger the gun clicks. Empty.

HALEY
It looks like this could mean our ink has run dry.

RILEY
Let me guess where you get your bad puns from.

RILEY shakes his head. Now they are completely surrounded by DOBERMAN'S.

RILEY
Well I guess we won't be dunked in vain.

Suddenly, there's a rubber burning screech as HARRY arrives with an ANIMATED DAISY. She is a statuesque, amazon beauty of a RED FOX.

HARRY
Look who I found?

DAISY
I told you, anytime you needed help...

HARRY whistles. RILEY and HALEY climb in. The four take out a few more DOBERMAN'S sending them crashing like spinning tops.

DAISY spins off taking a hard right into the next block when it starts to snow. DAISY starts to loose traction. Barton's car starts to skid and slalom.

The dogs pursuing are now HUSKIES tied to a dog sled. On the back if the dog sled driving is DEATH wearing a black hooded cloak. The SOUND of out of tune sleigh bells accompany.

HARRY grabs a barber pole as they pass a barber shop and throws it at the dogs javelin style. The pole lands in front of the sled, sticking in the ground, causing the dogs reigns to wrap around it. The HUSKIES and DEATH crash into each other and then to the ground

HALEY
Riley, do something, get us out of here.

RILEY
How?

HALEY
Draw!

RILEY grabs a pencil and paper from the glove compartment.

RILEY
Hold on a second.

DAISY quickly speeds toward the end of the road. At the end, a dark bottomless pit.

HALEY
Hurry, Riley!

RILEY, hurriedly starts to draw a bridge at the end of the road, but the pencil breaks in two. The sharp end falls onto the floor. The road with the half finished bridge approaches fast. Quick thinking RILEY grabs his lucky drafting pencil from his jacket and scribbles a rainbow stretching over the abyss.

DAISY makes her break for the rainbow, just in the nick of time.

EXT. RAINBOW-NEW YORK SIDE

A roadblock is set up in front of the road. From over the rainbow the SOUND of Barton's car engine coming closer. Now a FOOT comes out of the darkness and stands behind the roadblock. As the SOUND of the car gets very loud. Flames erupt from the tip of a flare.

NEW ANGLE-THE FOOT

Belongs to DEATH. DEATH smiles sadistically as the car with HALEY, RILEY, HARRY and DAISY aboard comes shooting down the rainbow like as if it was a slide. When DAISY SEES the trap she hit s the breaks causing the car to skid.

DAISY
Uh-oh...hang on to your...what ever!

The tires explode as they hit the spike strips. Without tires, DAISY spins out of control, finally ending up in the ditch.

Before anyone can make a move the car is surrounded by a pack of ANIMATED PITBULL, RATWEILLER, and DOBERMAN dogs all holding buckets of water.

DEATH
Who do we have here?

DEATH opens one of the cars doors and helps HALEY out. RILEY climbs out after her. The DOGS quickly take his guns. HARRY and DAISY are held at bay by the DOGS holding the water.

DEATH
It's not safe to be in this town alone, a person can get dunked very easily.

RILEY
Your the one who needs to be dunking!

DEATH
Enough of your crap!
(to the DOGS)
Put him in my car. I think they'll enjoy the opening of my new place.

The DOGS prod RILEY and HALEY into DEATH'S Hearse. A DOG refers to HARRY and DAISY.

DOG
What about them?

DEATH
Erase them.

DEATH climbs into the car and zooms off. Sounds of water being thrown and screaming are heard from behind.

DAISY

Crawls out from the ditch.

DAISY
Bastards!

She makes it up the road. And sees the car has been destroyed by the dunk water, she looks around for HARRY we see...

HARRY ducked down under the seat of the destroyed car.

DAISY
Harry, your alive!

HARRY
Nobody tries to dunk this ape and gets away with it, lets go!

DAISY hobbles over to the car and gets in the drivers seat. The car is just a chassis, wheels, engine, two front seats and steering wheel.

HARRY
To the club!

DAISY
Who the hell are you Batman!

HARRY
No, I'm...
(dramatic pause)
Ape Man!

The wreck of the car lurches as DAISY speeds away, out of frame.

DAISY
Good lord Harry get some new material.

INT. QUILL CLUB

DEATH'S car is parked inside the lot. There are several other cars parked as well. There's a bulldozer, wrecking ball and huge tanker truck, full of water.

RILEY AND HALEY

Are held at gunpoint by a couple of DOGS, while several others are busy swinging the wrecking ball at the brick wall at the far end of the building. DEATH turns to the DOGS.

DEATH
Search her. See of she has the deed and will.

Several Dogs pounce for the opportunity to frisk Haley. The head Dog slaps another out of the way. He then proceeds with the task, panting and slobbering. He starts to move his hands over her body when Haley knees him in the groin.

HALEY
Get your hands off me you slimy mut!

The DOG drops to the ground, groaning in pain.

DEATH
Nevermind.
(checks his watch)
I don't expect that the deed will show up in the next five minutes. By then I will own this place, legally.

HALEY
You're the ultimate evil.

DEATH
Don't flatter me, I'm not that good...
(pause)
Yet.

RILEY
Come on Death, what the hell do you want with this place anyway?

The wrecking ball operator delivers another swing at the wall, bringing down a rein of bricks from off the corner.

HEATH
It's not the club, its the land I want.

DEATH goes to the truck and starts turning on the valves and compressors.

HEATH
You see this club was built over an old tunnel.
(to demolition man)
Start flooding the tunnel, as soon as the pressure comes up.

The DEMOLITION MAN nods and starts to work the leavers. The truck starts to make a high pitched whine as the pressure in the valves increase.

HALEY
Tunnel?

HEATH
That's right. During a routine inspection I found an old rum running tunnel used by the back in the thirties, right under the club.

RILEY
What do you want with an old rum tunnel?

HEATH
The tunnel runs right into Canada. My friends up there have already sealed their ed with a valve, once I knock this dump down, I can do the same. Once I flood the tunnel, I can just float in all the crack I can sell.

EXT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR

DANA and DAISY have been watching the proceedings through a window. They turn to each other stunned.

DANA
I don't like the looks of things over there.

DAISY
We have to do something?

DANA scurries back to the bar and grabs a gun from a lock box under the counter.

DAISY
What are you planning to do with that?

DANA
Riley's a good friend and I plan on saving him, stay here.

Reluctantly, DAISY ducks behind the counter.

DANA
Okay, but be careful.

DANA runs back to the window.

EXT. QUILL CLUB

HEATH grabs a hose connected to the water truck and carries it over to the entrance of the tunnel uncovered by the wrecking ball.

HALEY
You're sick Heath. Those drugs will kill thousands.

HEATH
What do you care?

RILEY
We care a lot.

HEATH
Who cares if a couple thousand junkies die, it's not like they have a future. I'm just trying to quicken their death and save the city a few million, wasted on taking care of the slime.

EXT. TERMINAL VELOCITY BAR

DANA, draws her gun and heads out of the club.

DANA
Here goes nothing.

EXT. QUILL CLUB-HEATH

Continues expansively.

HEATH
Right here where your standing, will be the gateway to the new trend in commerce.

RILEY
You mean your gateway to hell.

HEATH
I'm only doing smart business, there's a demand for my product and I found the quickest and cheapest route to supply the goods.A win, win for everyone.

RILEY
That's what this is all about. Tell me, what are you going to do when all your customers are dead?

HEATH
Don't worry. I plan to start small. I'll introduce my customers to my product a few tons at a time, in a low grade dose. I'll get them hooked and then let them spread my message to the masses. You se, the demand will never dry up.

HALEY
You are sick Heath!

HEATH steps up into their faces. Behind him several if the DEMOLITION CREW grab pipes, wrenches, anything that can be used as a weapon.

HEATH
I'd offer you some free samples, but I don't think your going to be around long enough to make it worth my effort.

Suddenly DANA EXPLODES into the parking lot, gangster style, leveling her gun at HEATH.

DANA
Step back from them or I'll kill the bastard!

HALEY
Riley, here, take this.

HALEY grabs a gun hidden down in her dress and hands it to RILEY.

RILEY
I new those would come in handy some day.

HEATH
Put the guns down you idiots, before you get yourself killed.

DANA
Go ahead, give me a reason to blast holes in you.
(over shoulder)
How you doing Riley?

RILEY
Real good Dan...but maybe I should take over.

DANA
And deny me my right to fulfill my civic duty, and rid the city of this corrupt piece of trash.

Milking the moment, she shifts the gun from hand to hand and circles HEATH. RILEY covers her.

DANA
You think you could get away with this?

P.O.V OVERHEAD

We look down on the proceedings from high in the cab of the wrecking ball crane. PULL back to REVEAL we're watching from the POV of the operator. Who's smiling with his hands perched on the swing control lever.

The OPERATOR calmly nudges the lever sending the ball swinging toward RILEY.

CLOSE- RILEY

He never sees the ball coming. Smash! The ball glances off him, sending him flying one way and his gun the other.

HEATH
Oops, sorry, I forgot to say heads up Riley!

HEATH picks up the gun. HEATH'S GOONS pick up RILEY. He shakes his head, HALEY looks on with concern.

HEATH
I'll be taking that.

HEATH grabs DANA'S gun.

HEATH
Tie the three up.

The GOONS grab ropes and tie them around the hands of HALEY, RILEY and DANA. They take a longer rope and hook it to the power winch. They hit the button and raise RILEY until he is ten feet above the ground, right in the path of the water tanker.

HEATH
Hit the hoses and let his friends watch him drown, then kill them and throw the bodies into the tunnel.

HEATH turns and starts to walk away.

ANGLE ON THE GROUND.

HEATH hits a patch of water and falls on his rear end.

THE GOONS

Break up at HEATHS misfortune. The one in charge of the water is so overcome with laughter he hits the down button on the winch, lowering RILEY. RILEY takes the opportunity as he is being lowered to kick the operator in the stomach, sending him reeling. RILEY tries to grab the down leaver with his teeth. Last he gets it:

HEATH
Nice try.

HEATH walks over to the water truck and hits the pump engines.

The engines groan back up to life. THREE GOONS take up position on three large hoses and aim them at RILEY.

Beads of sweat break out on RILEY'S face.

A GOON with a look of evil, starts to turn the leaver on the hose to the open position.

HALEY
You guys think this is real funny, don't you?
(to RILEY)
Don't give up Riley.

At the last second RILEY shouts at the GOON.

RILEY
Hey!

The GOON looks up to him.

RILEY
Before you kill me, I want you to know something.

GOON
What's that?

RILEY
Your ass is about to become grass!

Suddenly DAISY comes speeding into the lot in an old beat up car. She heads straight for HEATH, crashing into him sending him flying onto the hood.

TIGHT ON HEATH'S FACE

HEATH looks terrified as he watches DAISY laugh as she drives the car over too a large mud puddle and then slams on the breaks.

HEATH goes sailing off the hood and lands head first into the mud.

DAISY reverses quickly and heads into the pack of GOONS sending them in all directions. DAISY then points the Juggernaut at the crane.

She revs the engine and races in a head on tact towards the side of the crane. At the last second she bails from the speeding battering ram.

HALEY
Everyone grab cover!

HALEY and DANA run behind the winch and hit the down button, sending RILEY crashing to the ground in a heap. DAISY joins the trio and takes cover.

IN THE CRANE

The GOON in the crane collapses in the swinging lever, as the car crashes into the crane. The ball swings wildly toward the water tanker, hitting it, causing the tank to burst open spraying water everywhere as if an damn burst.

RILEY spots HEATH trying to escape, soaked he stumbles to his feet and flies across the lot and hits HEATH with a flying tackle. They both hit the ground.

HEATH gets up, leaving RILEY stunned. He sprints pt where the gun has been dropped. RILEY shakes it off. He sees HEATH about to reach the gun. He sprints across the lot for the crane hook and swings it around toward HEATH, hitting him square in the chest, sending him crashing into a pile of supply boxes.

RILEY takes the moment to pick up HALEY and hold her in his arms.

HALEY
Riley, I want you to know that I love you. I have always loved you.

RILEY
If this is it for us , I want to die in your arms.

They both close their eyes, waiting for the worst to happen. As the GOONS close in on them from all sides. But it never comes.

HARRY
Get down!

HARRY and STEVE have climbed aboard the steamroller and start it up. HARRY puts it into gear and starts it rolling toward DEATH.

DEATH comes around to see the huge steamroller bearing down on him. At the last second DEATH grabs a two by four and hits HARRY in the shoulder causing him to turn the steering wheel, swerving it into the building.

STEVE jumps DEATH. But DEATH is stronger. He throws STEVE off and starts whacking him with his fist. He pummels STEVE back against the drum of the steamroller. HARRY still in the cab grabs DEATH in a headlock with his large legs. STEVE grabs a rope and hogties DEATH'S legs with one end and attaches the other to the drum. HARRY starts the drum. DEATH frantically tries to free himself. The roller starts to suck him under.

DEATH
Noooo!

HALEY BUNNY and HARRY advert their eyes as the steamroller crushes DEATH.

HALEY, HARRY and STEVE breath a sigh of relief.

HALEY
My hero!

HARRY
(bashful)
Aw shucks.

SPANKY
Ahem, what about me?

HARRY
Oh ya, thanks Steve, oh by the way, what happened to you?

SPANKY
Oh nothing, just, Death tried to dunk me. But I fought like a tiger and hung on to the side of the tank and when the goons weren't looking I climbed out and hid until I new I could make my return.
(dramatic pause)
I-m b-a-a-c-k!

HALEY
We're all back, now where's Riley. We need him or nobody will ever read about us.

RILEY stirs from the ground in a daze and slowly takes stock of his surroundings.

INT.ANGLE DOOR OF HIS APARTMENT

DANA and HALEY come rushing into his apartment. Excitedly, HALEY runs to RILEY and wraps his arms around him.

HALEY
We did it!

RILEY
(groggy from sleeping)
Did what?

DANA
Heath, he admitted to the murder.

HALEY
Your off the hook!

RILEY
Really, yes. I mean hell ya!

DANA looks down at the stain on RILEY'S shirt. A dark stain.

DANA
Riley, are you bleeding? Do you want to go to the hospital?

RILEY looks down at the stain.

RILEY
That's not blood. That's ink. I've been working all night so I can finish these new story boards.

HALEY
New boards? For who? Bargoons is finished?

RILEY smiles with pleasure, as he delays his answer, milking the dramatic effect of his announcement.

RILEY
I sent my idea for a new strip to Cartouch Animations last week and they liked it. They want me go over to their Manhattan office and sign a contract and drop off these.

DANA overcome with emotion, hugs and kisses RILEY on the cheek RILEY is a little set back by the sudden show of compassion from DANA.

RILEY
What was that all about? When did you start caring about my work?

DANA
If this means you will start making money, than I'm happy. Now you can pay me back all the cash you owe me and get your damn ass out of my bar.

RILEY laughs as he can't disagree.

RILEY
I'll even throw in a dinner. My treat.

DANA
Deal. Hey Haley what are you going to do now?

HALEY
I think I'll give singing a try.

DANA
Your always welcome to perform at Velocity.

HALEY
I think I will. Until I can get enough cash to fix up and re-open the Quill.

RILEY feels something in his pocket.

RILEY
Remember the story in the paper about them finding a cover letter for a will and deed, but never found the actual papers?

HALEY
Ya, the cops figured Heath stole it and destroyed it.

RILEY reaches in his pocket, pulls out the paper.

CLOSE-PAPER

"LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT"

RILEY
(reading)
Last will and testament. In case of my untimely demise, I leave the property and building that the Quill Club currently sits on and my life's savings of three hundred thousand dollars, plus an insurance policy worth the double indemnity sum of one million dollars to one Haley Jacobson.

PAN

To HALEY who has tears streaming down her face.

HALEY
You scamp. How did you...

RILEY
Don't ask. What counts is that the club is now yours to do what ever you want with it.

HALEY
I'll give my customers the best music, food and drink around. No more sleazy strip club.

TWO SHOT- RILEY AND HALEY

They stand side by side looking at each other in the eye.

RILEY
What are you going to name it?

HALEY
I thought I'd name it after the man I love. I'm going to call it
(pause)
The life of Riley.

DANA,

Rolls her eyes.

DANA
Aw yuck. If you two are going to get mushy, I'm out of here. See you later. Haley, don't forget what I said, anytime, the place is yours.

A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

DAISY ENTERS.

DAISY
Hey, Haley, the guys at Velocity said you where up here. I came up to ask a favour. Can I borrow a couple of bucks so I can get my car out of the shop. That water really screwed up the seats, but you should see it now.

HALEY laughs realizing her friend doesn't know the good news.

HALEY
Sure, I think I can spring for a couple of bucks. And I would like to thank you for everything you did for us. Partner.

DAISY
(confused)
Partner?

HALEY
Let's go, I'll fill you in over a cappuccino. My treat.

A bewildered DAISY follows HALEY OUT. DANA gives a mock salute and does like wise. Leaving RILEY to gather his storyboards.

TIGHT On-STORYBOARDS ON DESK

PAN

The title reads "DARWIN'S APES" below HARRY and STEVE ANIMATE. They LOOK out of the storyboard into the CAMERA. STEVE high fives HARRY who puts his arm around his brother, with the other hand he gives the thumbs up.

HALEY BUNNY ENTERS and playfully wraps her arms around HARRY and smiles.

PAN DOWN

To the last frame, Reads:

THE END.